I Learned to Pee Like a Big Boy By Sniffing a Lot of pee-Mail
Life lessons from Rotto
I, Rotto, was at the dog park when I first became aware that big boys peed differently from girls. Up until then, I’d just been squatting. But that wasn’t how the big boys did things. They stood on three legs and peed into the air. It looked (and smelt) brilliant.
I tried it out at home first. Just balancing on three legs, my fourth just lifted off the ground. It’s tricky to keep your balance and pee at the same time. I ended up peeing on my front paws.
Each week I got a little steadier and managed to lift my leg a little higher. I was still peeing on my paws, but I, Rotto was on track to pee like a big boy!
I was so proud of my efforts I started doing my three-legged pee every time my peoples took me for a walk. As well as trying out my pee stance, I got to sniff a lot of other pee. I noticed that wherever I peed yesterday, another dog had come along and peed on top.
A message — and it was just for me!
I wanted to leave my next message right in front of another dog’s house, but he barks a lot, and frankly, he’s a little scary. Instead, I used my three-legged pee stance and peed on his curb. There was no stopping me!
I, Rotto, read some other pee-mail, and it occurred to me that the big boys were peeing up high, and I was still peeing down low. How did they do this?
I sniffed all the messages I could find, searching for answers. After a great deal of sniffing, I thought I had the answer.
I, Rotto, went straight up to the fence where the grass grew extra tall. I pushed my head into the grass to get as close to the fence as possible, then I peed. And my pee stayed on the grass. Up high. I was so impressed with myself that I scritched and scratched to help throw the fluid my scent glands produce from my paws to make my pee smell even more impressive.
I, Rotto, had this peeing thing down pat. I just needed to find some high grass every time I wanted to leave a message up high.
The problem was not everywhere I wanted to pee had tall grass I could pee on. And I noticed that the up high pee-mail was everywhere.
Perhaps I didn’t have the solution after all.
Back to the drawing board!
I experimented a little. I added acrobatics to my three-legged pee stance and braced my front paw against the fence. That wasn’t the answer either. And I peed a lot more on my paws than usual.
One day, I twisted to look at something while I was peeing, and hey presso, my leg shot into position, and I peed just like a big boy!
I started leaving my messages up high everywhere. This peeing thing is grand.
I have to confess; I’m a little lazy at home. I only lift my leg a little bit. It means I still pee on my front paws.
My people sigh and say, it’s lucky I’m cute.
Rotto is a two-year Staffy Kelpie cross.
He lives with his two favorite people and his sister Chilli, a Red Heeler.
