The funniest trending topic on Twitter: Black dog parents
There are a handful of topics that will easily win me over, and dogs are one of them. I’ve heard again and again about the complex relationship that African-Americans have with dogs. Kenya Barris’ show “Black-ish” made a comical episode all about this myth, and “Ready to Love” even took on issues regarding house dogs.
I even had to deal with a racist owner, who just flat-out didn’t want anyone non-female or non-white to walk her dog. So even as a dog lover, I understand why the myth exists. But I was delighted to see the dog thread from Twitter user Mia’s alter ego Kenneth.*
The trending subject: “Parents of color with pets… my fav thing on Twitter.”
These were my top 10 favorite moments of the thread.
- Tough love for runaway dogs: Sometimes you’d rather just get the newspaper swap. This dog owner decided to let this dog face a harsh reality. “You run away again, we gone leave you.” (I was just waiting on the “I’ll help you pack” line.) via @KendallFrance on TikTok
- Dog tricks? Nailed ‘em!: I was just not prepared for the mother-in-the-basketball-stands cheer that came at the end. She sounded astonished that her own dog nailed all of the commands — and with ease.
- The BBQ was calling him: There was a time before my vegetarian years that I fully understood how BBQ just calls your name. I know the dog is 7-1/2 years old (around 53 in human years) and should know better, but the garbage cans can become too much temptation at times.
- Your loyal TV partner and crime: There are a laundry list of reasons why dogs are a woman’s best friend (and a man’s best friend too). One of the best reasons is they’ll humor your TV gossip drama when your boyfriend and/or husband just will not watch your shows with you. (I get the feeling Duke would’ve preferred to be petted while hearing this story though.)
- Avoiding eye contact: This didn’t even have a video to go with it. But if you own a license, there’s a pretty huge chance that you’ve been either the person who did this and dodged eye contact. Or, you were the person hawk-eyeing the person who cut you off.
- Just act natural: See, this is where kids and dogs are different. My older brother and I could look our parents right in the face, and make them figure out who committed the crime. If you don’t have fingerprints or food stains on clothes, we didn’t know who did it. Maybe a ghost? But this dog just won’t be cool. Every time he walks away, while his sibling sits, we know for sure he ate whatever was in that pan (pie? pizza?).
- Every dog has his “day”: It’s his birthday, and he’ll sit on laps if he wants to. Hear songs if he wants to. Lick his owner if he wants to. (By the way, moKenstef stan said it best: “Nobody loves a dog more than the dad who didn’t want it at first.”)
- Having “the talk” with your pup: One of the first dogs I ever walked was a pit bull who leaped straight up into the air and licked me right on the lips. I was somewhere between grossed out, surprised and delighted. That dog (plus this Humane Society and Carroll Care Center report) hands down made me re-evaluate my views on pit bulls. But this pit should get extra treats for being such a good listener during the profiling “talk.” Now whether he’s one of those dogs who doesn’t quite realize he’s a dog is anyone’s guess.
- The pep talk before the store entry: I’m going to go out on a limb and assume every black child has gotten the lecture about not touching anything in the store, no tantrums and absolutely no begging to buy everything within their reach. Judging from this video, the dogs don’t give a damn though.
And then there is my own story.
While I have had plenty of hilarious moments of dressing my dog in sunglasses, falling over laughing when my Lab snatched a steak off the counter while my father was BBQing, picking up the trash can countless times and becoming Air Jordan to avoid a Christmas tree tumble, the most recent violation was this past Thanksgiving weekend while I was housesitting two Labs. I realized very quickly that the 3-year-old just would not stop begging for my food, and the 7-month-old “puppy” always acted like he was starving.
So I purposely put them upstairs so I could eat in peace. And I opened the baby gate to let them back downstairs when I was done. I grabbed my hot tea on the way down so I could finish watching the rest of “Rhythm + Flow.” D Smoke barely got one lyric out before the “puppy” decided to teach me a lesson. The photo to the left explains it all.
* Her username cannot be published at this time, but in all fairness, I kinda wrote about her username in a much nicer way here.