A boy (me) and his dog (Cooper)
<<<<< that’s Cooper!
A couple Sundays ago I cried. I cried in a way I hadn’t for years. Deep sobs that came from fright and love. I had a good reason, it was dog related. You see, I’m a dog lover, and fellow dog lovers will relate with this story about coming to terms with an aging dog. Non-dog lovers might learn a thing or two as well.
Let me start with a clarification, my dog, Cooper is OK.
This is not a story about him passing, its a story about me, my dog Cooper, our history and how an injury helped me face up to the fact that he will, one day, pass.
Cooper’s Injury
Cooper, Buzz (dog #2) and I left the house on a bright Sunday morning for a trip to the park; its a regular thing. We get in the car, drive about 5 minutes, and there we are, the dog park. One of their favorite places in the entire world. They love it so much that they can tell when we are going to the park; when we make a left onto the street leading to the park the mood in the car changes — both dogs get excited, whine, pant, wag and make it VERY clear they know where we’re headed and they think it’s a great idea. I am their hero for taking them (again).
Our visit is somewhat normal for a minute or two. Buzz runs through the gate and begins to sniff, he’s looking for a place to, um, poop. Buzz is a confused dog, he seems to think the park is a place to poop, not play. Most dogs sniff around and pee, not Buzz. He poops. One trip to the park often results in 3 or 4 baggies of Buzz poop. But, that’s another story, another time. Back to the point…
Cooper is a ball dog, he loves his tennis ball so much its almost annoying. Playing ball is our thing. I heave the ball, he runs, gets it and runs back. Unlike most dogs he doesn't drop it right away, part of HIS game of ball is to “pretend drop” — meaning he drops it, waits for me to step forward to pick it up and then he lunges for the ball, grabs it and prances about, proud of his accomplishment. In his eyes, he has won that game. Eventually he drops the ball, lets me pick it up, and I throw it again so we can repeat the process.
On this day I threw twice.
Throw 1: Cooper comes back as per usual.
Throw 2: Cooper comes back limping on 3 legs. I was busy picking up Buzz poop between throws so I did not see what happened.
Cooper drops the ball and looks at me, ready for another throw. I tell him no, he can’t chase a ball with a hurt leg. We leave the park.
So far, this is not abnormal. Dogs hurt themselves now and then and I assume he has pulled a muscle. I take him home, we go about our day, he sleeps, I do errands.
A few hours later I’m watching TV and Cooper limps into the room. As he steps down the 1 step into the room he slips, his one good back leg loses its grip and he falls to the floor letting out a cry. I’ve almost never heard him cry.
It was then that I realized this might be more than a pulled muscle, so I decide we’ll hop on down to the emergency vet. Optimistic Marc assumes he’ll get some pain killers and be assigned to bed rest. Simple, right?
The Emergency Vet
No, not so simple. Emergency vets are amazing, the fact that I have hospital to take my pets to at night and on weekends is amazing. However, they have zero experience with me or my dog, so the experience is never terribly pleasant.
After an hour or so of waiting Cooper and I get called into the room for an exam.
The emergency veterinarian comes into the room and examines Cooper. She is nice, but there’s something about her bedside manner that’s putting me off. I then hear from her that “he may have blown his knee out,” and that “he will probably never walk right or play ball again.”
What?!!?
I’m told we need to take some ex-rays, do this and that, just to make sure her diagnosis is correct and I should leave him for 3 or 4 hours and come back. I say OK, and make sure she understands that Cooper is not just a dog, to me, he is family. We’ll do what we need to do to get him better.
As I leave Cooper she tells me she and the staff will take good care of him. All I hear is: “he will probably never walk right or play ball again.”
I leave the vet, drive home and feel teary. A few escape and stream down my cheek. Cooper, my best friend (beside my wife) is hurt, and may not walk right again? Never chase a ball? This is a lot to take in.
As I approach our house I try to pull myself togehter so I don’t scare my wife and kids. Unfortunately the second I see my wife I break down into a sob and have trouble explaining what’s happened.
She is wonderful. She hugs me and consoles me. Its exactly what I needed at the time. She just let me be upset, didn’t try to tell me all is fine, she knew I needed to let this out. This is just one example of why I love her so much.
A few hours later the vet calls and tells us we can pick Cooper up, the ex-rays confirm that his knee is blown, he’ll need a TPLO surgery. But they want me to take him to his regular vet for full evaluation.
All in all the emergency vet did 2 things, they freaked me out, and they gave Cooper some good pain killers to get him through the night. So, some good and some not so good.
Cooper’s Regular Vet
Cooper saw his regular vet. Dr. Bill, the following morning, and the experience could not have been better. The vet asked me to bring him in and leave him for an hour or two so he could examine him between appointments. Dr. Bill has known Cooper and I for many years; I trust him and Cooper likes him. He’s a great vet.
I come back a few hour later and Dr. Bill called me into his office, he wanted to show me Cooper’s ex-rays. He took 20 minutes or so to walk me through what he saw, what it means, and how he recommends we help Cooper. His bedside manner is impressive.
The amazing part is that he put me at ease. He told me this injury is not what will kill Cooper. He told me almost all dogs he’s seen with this injury recover almost fully. And he told me that we have options, surgery is one of them. He was clear that he thought surgery was the right choice based on the extent of the damage. Even with all of that, I feel much more at ease.
You see, Dr. Bill knows me and knows how to talk to me about Cooper. He has great bedside manner and I left feeling good about our path. I would to think it over, talk to my wife and make a decision.
Our History Together
Cooper is about 11 years old. I have had him since we was 8 weeks old. I got him from a dog rescue called Second Chance rescue. They do amazing work taking dogs out of shelters, providing foster parents, and then finding them permanent homes. Cooper, I was told, was found at about 4-5 weeks old wandering around a grocery store parking lot by himself. Whoever it was that found him took him to the animal shelter, which is where Second Chance found him, and how I eventually found Cooper.
My first wife and I took him home. In less than six months she and I had separated and Cooper and I were now a team. This was, without a doubt, the hardest time of my entire life. I can look at it now and see that it was for the best. I am a much happier person today than I was in my first marriage, but if you’ve ever been through a divorce you know that it is horrible. No matter the circumstances, its not fun.
Cooper helped me hold it togehter. He gave me a reason to come home. He gave me responsibility. He gave me love. And most of all he allowed me to love him. The bond Cooper and I built is amazing.
I grew up with family dogs, I loved every one of them. That said, I had no idea I could love a dog as much as I love Cooper until I emerged on the other side of divorce. After a year or two the divorce was over than the scars were healed. The only thing I came out of it with that I cared about were my pets. My cat, Zoe, and Cooper. Zoe is awesome, but the bond is nothing like what I have with Cooper.
Cooper is a big part of why I made it through my divorce relatively sane. He is an amazing friend and is always there for me without fail.
With this history how could I not provide the best medical treatment possible?
What did we decide on Cooper’s Recovery?
I decided to get Cooper his surgery, it was 3 days ago. It was hard for me to drop him off for surgery knowing he was going to be cut into. Anything that hurts him makes me sad. But, I knew we were making this choice so he can have a healthy and active life post recovery (as a side note, yes, this and all surgery is controversial. I made the right choice for my dog, your choice might be different and that’s OK).
Cooper’s surgery went very well. His knee was rebuilt and has some lovely new hardware, screws, etc.
Three days in Cooper is doing well. He is swollen and antsy and has a long road to full recovery. I am confident he will one day take long walks with me. If I can throw a ball for him again one day I’ll be a happy doggy dad.
Cooper’s favorite place in the house is in “his chair” in the font window. He claimed it and we gave up trying to keep it clean and let it go — it’s Cooper’s chair now. With his surgery he can not jump, making his chair a problem. I decided that the best thing I could do for him is to make him a ramp so he can sit in his spot all day. He loves it there.
What’s the Point? Why is this Story Significant?
Cooper is so very important to me, and I would do anything for him, but that isn’t the point. I have 2 points. One is for dog lovers, one is for the other people (non-dog lovers).
Dog Lovers: I get it, i know exactly how you feel about your dogs. Some of us are in deeper than others, but there is a consistent theme, we feel that our dogs are a part of our family and we will do anything for their happiness and well being. What I learned through this process was that I need to accept the fact that I will need to say goodbye at some point. This process, though not a situation where death was imminent, forced me to realize that Cooper is getting old and that a time will come where I have to face reality. That is why I cried, I was afraid. I know nothing will prepare me for losing Cooper, but I am doing my best to cherish the moments I do have with him. I’d like to see him live another 5 years, but you never know — my plan is to continue loving him.
Non-dog lovers: I hope this story helps you understand the bond between a dog lover and his dog. I hope it helps paint a picture that allows you to see that we’re not crazy for loving out pets. I hope you have something in your life that you love as much as I love Cooper. And, please don’t get the wrong idea, I love the people in my life too, this just isn't a story about them.
Where is cooper now?
Resting by my feet as it type, of course. He’s a damned fine dog!
