I Had A Strange Dream Starring Donald Trump, Mel Brooks & Dr. Melfi
Trump On Terrorism Dream
I love The Sopranos, and if you’ve ever watched it you’ve seen mobster Tony Soprano in a counseling session with his psychiatrist, Dr. Jennifer Melfi.
She asks him what’s on his mind, and he rambles on about his latest frustration or problem or maybe a dream that he doesn’t understand.
I’ve been having my own recurring dream featuring Dr. Melfi, but instead of Tony Soprano the patient’s chair is occupied by Donald Trump.
She asks him what’s on his mind and after babbling his latest rant about women or Muslims or whatever he vanishes and Mel Brooks appears.
Yes, Mel Brooks, the brilliant creator of Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, and my favorite comedy of all time, The Producers.
He, well, instead of trying to describe what happens I wrote down the dream (Trump On Terrorism) in “script” format so you can read it for yourself.
FADE IN:
DONALD TRUMP
Those losers in Washington are all morons! I could stop terrorism in a week.
DR. MELFI (O.S.)
How would you do that?
DONALD TRUMP
I’d tell them, “Hey, cut out all this terrorist crap or else.”
DR. MELFI (O.S.)
Or else what?
DONALD TRUMP
They’d get the big one.
DR. MELFI (O.S.)
A nuclear bomb? Where would you drop it?
DONALD TRUMP
What’s that shrine of their theirs, Mecca? BOOM! I’d make it glow in the dark.
Let me tell you, after that there wouldn’t be any more of this terrorist baloney!
They’d be on the phone to me the next day. They’d be all: “We’re sorry Mr. Trump. It won’t happen again, Mr. Trump. Can’t we work this out, Mr. Trump?”
DR. MELFI (O.S.)
And you really think that would work?
DONALD TRUMP
Absolutely! Let me tell you, I know how to motivate people.
CUT TO:
INT. EMPTY SOUND STAGE — DAY
MEL BROOKS on the empty set, addressing the camera
MEL BROOKS
I couldn’t invent a funnier movie plot than a blow-hard, egomaniac like Donald Trump running for President.
Unfortunately, this is real life.
Do you seriously think that a pathological narcissist like Donald Trump belongs in the Oval Office with his hands on the nuclear launch codes, that he’s fit to follow in the footsteps of men like Washington, Roosevelt, Reagan, Wilson and Jefferson?
Good grief, he makes Dick Nixon look like Abraham Lincoln!
Are you NUTS!
WAKE UP!
And then I did — wake up. Thank God it was only a dream!
But the next night it happened again. This time The Donald was arguing that instead of complaining about his criticisms of their appearance, ugly women should be trying harder to make themselves more attractive to him.
All I can say is that it certainly got me thinking about the proper definition of the word “ugly.”
— David Grace
DavidGraceAuthor.com
