If Mr. Ego Has Done Nothing Wrong, Why Is He So Obsessed, Inflamed, Distraught, Perturbed & Terrified(?) by Robert Mueller’s Russia Investigation?
His Defense: “You can’t prove anything! Nobody saw me do it.” — Bart Simpson
By David Grace (www.DavidGraceAuthor.com)
This has probably been blindingly obvious to anyone who has even a little bit of common sense, or to any parent who has kids who ever stole a handful of Oreos from the cookie jar, but I’ll say it anyway just to stop it from rattling around inside my brain any longer:
If Mr. Ego had done nothing wrong he wouldn’t be so obsessed, inflamed, distraught, rattled, perturbed, and terrified(?) by Robert Mueller’s Russia investigation.
You don’t go bananas over stuff that doesn’t affect you.
You know, I’m pretty upset by the murder rate in Chicago. Terrible. But it doesn’t affect me, so I don’t take every opportunity, day after day, to tell anyone who will listen how terrible things are in Chicago.
On the other hand, if my brother and his wife and kids lived in a Chicago neighborhood ravaged by random shootings then, yes, I might constantly babble on about it.
As we all know, you only obsess and constantly complain about stuff that actually affects you.
If the District Attorney announced that he was investigating whether or not I had anything to do with the death of a jogger in Sunset Park and I really had nothing to do with it, my general reaction would be, “Hey, knock yourself out. Excuse me while I get back to work.”
After that I’d ignore it as much as possible knowing that they’re not going to find anything because there’s nothing there to find.
If I was really innocent I sure wouldn’t start every day by bringing it up and complaining about it and saying nasty things about the D.A.
I would only do that if I was
- somehow involved, and
- too stupid to keep my big, fat mouth shut.
Mr. Ego is clearly obsessed with Robert Mueller’s investigation.
- He talks about it all the time.
- He complains about it all the time.
- He trashes Mueller all the time.
- He’s now taken to repeatedly condemning his own Attorney General because the AG’s actions allowed Mueller to be appointed.
- Now’s he’s threatening to fire Mueller.
Why would he do all that if Mueller’s investigation was not a threat to him?
Why would he do that if really he had done nothing wrong?
Why would he be so obsessed with the Russia probe if there was nothing there to be found?
If he’s as completely innocent as he claims, why does he care about it so much and criticize it so often?
Obviously rhetorical questions.
If the police say that they’re investigating me as the possible culprit in Cock Robin’s murder and I send all the people in my address book an email:
- “This is crazy. I didn’t kill Cock Robin” then tomorrow morning I send another email:
- “I had nothing to do with Cock Robin’s murder” then the next day:
- “Stupid D.A. is a lightweight fool. I didn’t kill Cock Robin” then the next day,
- “Cock Robin’s so-called murder is Fake News. Might not even be dead” then the next day,
- “I don’t even know who Cock Robin is. How could I kill him?” then the next day,
- “I am completely, 100% innocent of murdering Cock Robin” then the next day:
- “Cock Robin’s murder–Who’s completely innocent? Me!”
Hands up high: Who thinks that I probably had something to do with killing Cock Robin?
Again, nobody goes nuts over stuff that doesn’t actually threaten them. Obviously, in Mr. Ego’s mind this Russia investigation is a BIG PROBLEM. Clearly, he’s someplace between worried and terrified.
The only questions are:
- Why? and
- What does Mr. Ego know that he fears Mr. Mueller may find out?
In my mind’s eye I see Principal Skinner looking at a drawing scrawled on the wall outside the teacher’s lounge. It shows a man sticking his penis into an electric socket.
Outraged, Skinner spots Bart Simpson wandering by.
“Bart — “
“I didn’t do it!” Bark snaps before Skinner even gets a word out.
“Simpson, if you . . . .”
“You can’t prove anything!” Bart shouts. “Nobody saw me do it.”
The next thing you know, Bart is writing fifty times on the blackboard:
“I must not draw pictures of Principal Skinner sticking his you-know-what into a light socket.”
You see, if Bart had only kept his big, fat mouth shut he’d probably have skated on the whole thing, but nooooo, he had to deny, deny, deny, which, in the end, was the same as admit, admit, admit.
If Mr. Ego had just said, “I think this Russia thing is all a big waste of time, but it doesn’t really affect me so I’m going to just stand back and let Mr. Mueller do his job. I wish him the best of luck” and then kept his big, fat mouth shut, by now he’d be almost home free.
But noooooo, he had to keep denying, denying, and denying until now everybody knows he must have done something. They just don’t know what. And we’re all dying to find out.
Of course, unlike Bart Simpson, if Mr. Ego actually gets nabbed for doing something Bad With Russia, he won’t be sentenced to writing fifty times on the blackboard: “I will no longer accept bribes from foreign dictators” or whatever his indiscretion might turn out to be.
No, his punishment is likely to be a quite a bit more severe than that.
I can’t wait to see what happens next.
–David Grace (www.DavidGraceAuthor.com)
