Will Mike Pence Change His Name To ‘Mike Pounce’ To Retroactively Fix Mr. T Getting It Wrong?

DavidGrace
Sep 23 · 3 min read
Wikimedia Commons

By David Grace (www.DavidGraceAuthor.com)

Well, I just can’t let this one go.

In a speech on Sept. 12th, Mr. T referred to his Vice President as “Mike Pounce.”

Was this a Freudian slip? Was he looking ahead to the 2020 campaign when he will assign his Vice President the role of attack dog who will “pounce” on the Megalomaniac-In-Chief’s opponents?

Some people tweeted satirical comments about this mental hiccup, but in the Bizzaro World in which we are now trapped these outlandish suggestions might well turn out to come true. — Come on, buying Greenland? Really? And Mr. Ego was dead serious about that. What the hell happened there?

Had he fallen asleep in front of the TV and subliminally absorbed a documentary entitled: “William Seward — The Visionary Who Purchased Alaska” and awoke thinking, “Wow! What the hell is left out there that I can buy that would make future generations be even more astonished and amazed by my greatness?”

Anyway. . . . After the Dorian-Will-Hit-Alabama nonsense, otherwise known as SharpieGate, we can’t rule out any kind of weird conduct from That Guy.

In the twitter storm that followed Mr. T’s “Mike Pounce” senior moment, someone suggested that in order to more firmly jam his nose up Mr. Crazy’s keester, or to put it more politely, “Show his unwavering support for the Magnificent Occupant Of The White House,” the VP would soon file papers to legally change his name from “Mike Pence” to “Mike Pounce,” thus retroactively erasing any error in the President’s remarks, essentially rewriting history in order to make what had once been false, now true.

If that comes to pass, my expectation is that following the name change, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named will double down on his original remark. I would expect to see him on the White House lawn, babbling to a bunch of reporters:

“This story about me mixing up the Vice President’s name is a blatant lie. Mike’s father’s name was ‘Edward Pounce’ but because he always had a serious expression on his face, people started calling him ‘Ed Pence,’ because he was so pensive. Then, even though Mike was born ‘Mike Pounce,’ lots of people naturally called him ‘Mike Pence’ after his father, but that was never his real name.a

‘Trust me. I know. I’ve seen his real name in his high-school yearbook. He showed it to me the last time I had dinner at his place, Mac & Cheese. It was delicious.

“So, this whole thing about me not knowing my own Vice President’s name is just another example of Fake News made up by the left-wing media that hates me and hates America.”

Sadly, That Guy has no boundaries. No lie is too ridiculous, outrageous, or provably false to deter him from saying it if he thinks that if it were real it would be good for him, as if the mere fact of giving it voice will make it true.

So, I’m thinking that not so long from now the Republican National Committee will begin ordering up a big supply of 2020 campaign signs and banners promoting the wonderful, new and improved, Trump-Pounce ticket.

We are so inured to lies, so numb from That Guy’s continued assault on reality, that in another couple of months things will have gotten so much worse that today’s Pence → Pounce transmogrification won’t jiggle the public’s WTF meter by even a little bit.

UPDATE:

On October 20, 2019 Mr. Ego tweeted:

“Mark Esperanto, Secretary of Defense, ‘The cease fire is holding up very nicely. There are some minor skirmishes that have ended quickly,’”

The Secretary of Defense, appointed by Mr. T and a member of his cabinet, is Mark Esper. One might wonder how the President of the United States could fail to even know the name of his own Secretary of Defense.

The answer is that to Mr. Ego, no one else’s name really matters. To a megalomaniac, no one else matters. The only person who counts is me, Me, ME.

Esperanto is an invented language which no one speaks.

— David Grace (www.DavidGraceAuthor.com)

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