The Big3 Triplets and The Curse of Gary Vee

As someone who prides himself on having journalistic integrity and ethical standards, before the Big3 Season begins I felt it was important to highlight the urgency involved with a key story to watch as everything unfolds in 2022.

The curse of Gary Vee.

That’s not his real name of course, it’s Gary Vaynerchuk. But Gary is a man who emphasizes compassion and kindness. To that end, he’s done us all a favor (especially writers like me, right here and right now) by shortening his last name and making our lives so much easier.

Thanks Gary! You’re a champ.

You know who isn’t though? Your beloved New York Jets.

For those who may not be aware, the Jets are the perennial laughingstock of the NFL. Absolutely cursed. And yet Gary Vee is a proud diehard fan through thick and thin.

I admire that Gary! I really do.

We’re very similar people. Both sons of immigrants from the same culture. Both proudly born and raised in NYC. We preach the same values of kindness and empathy without expecting anything in return.

So why are you bringing your curse with you to the Triplets? What did this squad do to deserve your bad karma?

Joe Johnson is a NBA legend and 2x Big3 MVP.

Did you know he holds the Big3 record for most points in a game with 34 scored in this masterpiece?

Coach Lisa Leslie has one of the most stacked resumes of any player in the history of the game, and is the most iconic female basketball player in the world.

She’s a household name Gary!

2x WNBA Champion, 3x WNBA MVP, 4x Olympic Gold Medalist.

FOUR TIMES IN A ROW Gary! 1996, 2000, 2004, 2008.

No wonder the Triplets won the Big3 championship in 2019.

Put that in contrast with this dumpster fire of Jets draft picks.

I can’t imagine having to live through all this with deep emotional attachment to the outcomes.

How do you do it? The crushing weight of this lifelong disappointment that just keeps stacking more and more on your chest every single year as your struggle to breathe through it.

<Deep Breath>

The Triplets now have no chance to win.

Oh, you disagree? I’ve got two numbers for you.

2–14.

2–14 Gary.

This was 2020. It’s not getting any better. I’m sure you’re well aware, having lived through this nightmare like an annual Groundhog Day of hell upon the Wheel of Samsara.

How about 2021? Wikipedia, what do you have for me?

Oh okay! My bad, it’s getting better.

Improvement on 2–14, eliminated in Week 14. Sounds like some progress is being made right?

WOW.

At this point even Wikipedia is getting in on the fun of trolling you.

Tremendous Tiger is doing his best, but let’s get real.

Is Sunday ever a GM for you Gary? When was the last time you could say that with optimism as you put on your Gang Green Gear on Game Day as you desperately hoped for a brief moment of respite from your lifelong torture.

Just one win to bring some sense of positivity. But it rarely comes, does it?

Deep down you know that the stench of failure will carry with you to any sports team you’re associated with.

Have some self-awareness Gary.

Listen to Rare Robot and be comfortable with who you are: a walking voodoo curse that ruins professional sports teams inside the body of a successful, kind businessman who spreads positivity to millions around the world.

Jannero Pargo was on that 2019 Big3 Championship squad. This year he gets to play with his brother Jeremy on the same court! They’ve been playing together their whole lives and it’s gonna be amazing to see how well they flow.

Did you know that Jannero hit two four pointers in one game last season?

Jeremy was on 3’s Company last season, but now they’re both on the Triplets. It’s a dream come true.

Everything was going great. And now you show up, buy the team, and unleash the curse of the Butt Fumble.

These are brothers getting to play together Gary! Yet here you come rolling down the George Washington Bridge (or do you take the Lincoln Tunnel?) pulling up in your green clown car to ruin the lives of everyone on this team.

I know you mean well Gary. You really do. You’re the positive mainstream voice advocating for the value of web3 in an era where people just don’t get it.

We appreciate that! All of us do.

So I say this with love: you have the best of intentions. We all know your character and integrity.

But your presence is going to destroy everything good about the Triplets.

You’re exactly like Selfless Sloth. Trying to help, but creating unmitigated disaster for every athlete unfortunate enough to be associated with you.

Know your limitations Gary.

Stop hurting Lisa, Joe, Jannero and Jeremy. They were fine before you got here.

Take your own advice. Be the bigger person.