Fire Friday: Week 3 NFL Matchups

DOPE record after 2 weeks: 11–3

Things we learned from Week 2:

-The Raiders and the Giants swapped defensive personnel
 -Jameis Winston isn’t there yet
 -Belichick can win with a 3rd-string QB and no Gronk
 -We like to watch Aaron Rodgers lose
 -The Lions will always be the Lions
 -Most of us hate the Cowboys, but like Dak Prescott (Why can’t I help it??)
 -The Browns are too easy of a target. It’s just sad.

Here we go Week 3 of the NFL season! How bad does your team need a bye week? How many tantrums will Phillip Rivers throw against a below average IND Defense? Lets find out!

DOPEST Matchups

WAS @ NYG

They both say they are over it. They have moved passed it. Squashed the beef. This week…we find out. It’s the battle of the primadonnas, Odell Beckham Jr. and Josh Norman. Don’t let your kids watch as these two cheap shot each other over who has the cutest hair (OBJ). This will be a great opportunity for Victor Cruz to salsa his way into the end zone a few times. #TickleFight

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WAS 17–NYG 21

Start em’: Victor Cruz (6 receptions, 90 yards, 2 TD)

Sit em’: Kirk Cousins (screen passes won’t work all season)

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DEN @ CIN

If the Denver Defense can take away AJ Green, they shouldn’t have a problem putting this game away. The Bengals aren’t showing much else on offense, a TE with a name no one can pronounce and two running backs that “experts” say should be good every year, so I draft them of course, and am left with a broken heart. I should have known, even when the Bengals were good last year, we all knew they weren’t ACTUALLY good. #SorryNotSorry

Denver on the other hand, might Peyton-Manning their way back into the playoffs and make a run.

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DEN 19–CIN 10

Start em’: Denver Def (Andy Dalton<Von Miller)

Sit em’: Jeremy Hill/Geo Bernard (They are merely a fantasy c##ktease)

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MIN @ CAR

This will be the Defensive Matchup of the week. Last week against Green Bay, Bradford got away with one. Let’s see how he does without Adrian Petersen, against Luke Kuechly and the Carolina Defense. If he comes out alive, I will get myself prepared to jump on the bandwagon.

Don’t sleep on this Minnesota Defense. And we know what happens to Mr. Newton when he faces a respectable defense without his starting RB… #NoSidelineSelfies #LessDabs #WhereIsSuperman #NoPhoneBoothsAvailable

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MIN 17–CAR 14

Start em’: Stefon Diggs (7 receptions, 110 yds, 1 TD)

Sit em’: Kelvin Benjamin (Cam Newton will only have time to find Greg Olsen)

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SF @ SEA

So many storylines in this game. Is Wilson hurt? Will Baldwin Play? Can Seattle pull some O-Linemen from the Arena League to start? Are the 49ers good? Why isn’t Chip Kelly using Kaepernick and only running a Wing-T/Read-Option/RPO offense? The struggle is real in Seattle. Russell Wilson/Wolverine is taking longer to heal than Hawks fans expected. The thing they can count on is that even though Wilson is a God lover, he is a 49er hater. And he will beat them. And the Seattle Defense will only give up two field goals.

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SF 6–SEA 14

Start em’: SEA Def (It’s time for a turnover)

Sit em’: Carlos Hyde (Pete Carroll will make Blaine Gabbert beat him)

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SD @ IND

Wasn’t is nice that Melvin Gordon’s mother finally wore his jersey last week? #ToughLoveMama After not scoring a TD in his rookie season, he already has three in two games. He was most likely sick of Phillip Rivers whining about it. The Chargers have a tough road ahead of them with two major injuries already. But it’s ok, no one has ever really expected much out of them.

This is a big year for Andrew Luck. With top annalists still claiming he is the best Quarterback in his draft class #RussellWilson, he needs to make a move. Also the fact that when his contract kicks in the next couple years and takes a ¼ of the salary cap, he won’t be left with many toys to play with.

This matchup should be very favorable to your fantasy squad since you have two Top 10 quarterbacks.

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SD 28–IND 34

Start em’: T.Y. Hilton (8 receptions, 100 yards, 2 TD)

Sit em’: Phillip Rivers (I really just want to see how he reacts. Count how many times he points and screams this week. #DrinkingGame)

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PIT @ PHI

Old vs Young. This is my matchup of the week, mostly because I want to see the Quarterback battle. Two tough QB’s who stand in the pocket and take hits. With all the dancing QB’s coming into the league when do we get to see this? The Steelers have quite a few more weapons, and if Antonio Brown can catch the ball before he runs this week, the Eagles could be in trouble.

But Carson Wentz is making it work in Philly with wide receivers that seemed to take last year off. #TheNewRedRocket

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PIT 27–PHI 24

Start em’: Antonio Brown (an off-week for this guy is 11 points)

Sit em:’ Ryan Matthews (Where did the Steeler Defense come from?)


Originally published at Dope Magazine.

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