The Beautiful Mess Effect: Vulnerability As Strength

Photo by Jessie McCall on Unsplash

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The other day I was out for a run, and as usual I was listening to a podcast, which I usually do when running. I was listening to The Happiness Lab, and the host, Psychologist Dr. Laurie Santos mentioned a psychological concept that I’d never heard about, despite studying psychology in university and also a lot over the last few years (just out of interest). She mentioned something called ‘The Beautiful Mess Effect’, and I was fascinated!

TL;DR:

where we see an awful mess (in our own lives) others with an outsiders perspective see it as a 'beautiful mess'

The story she and her guest talked about was having a messy house and feeling embarrassed about it, and how we judge ourselves for it and think it makes us look bad, when we have other people over. We think they’re going to really judge us for having toast crumbs on the counter, or clutter around the house. But in reality, the visitor most often sees it as a positive thing. That you’re willing to be real and vulnerable with how life really is — and they feel that as something that they can relate to. That your ‘mess’ is seen by…