This Bakery Finds Your Haters & Sends Them A Cake

Make that troll eat their own words. Literally.

Alyssa Girdwain
Dose
3 min readJul 28, 2017

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The summer after I graduated high school, my BFF and I threw a going-away party for a friend. During high school, this friend had stolen our crushes, which is (obvs) a major violation of girl code. So — although the three of us were close — my BFF and I felt some pent-up aggression towards her.

We decided make a chocolate cake for the going away party, and to spice it up a bit. On the bottom layer, we used blue frosting to pipe a penis with the word “bye” coming out of it. It was hidden under the top layer, so you couldn’t see it. Sure, it kinda juvenile, but watching her eat every forkful of blue penis was really satisfying.

Today, we could’ve just pooled our babysitting money for one of Kat Thek’s Troll Cakes.

Troll Cakes

Troll Cakes is a bakery in NYC that makes cakes with a bite. Thek, its 30-year-old owner, wants your trolls to literally eat their own words. Basically, if a pesky troll is talking smack to you on Twitter, send it to Thek with the troll’s address. For $35, she’ll turn make a chocolate-chip brownie cake with the troll’s comment on top and send it to their doorstep. Thek also sends along the original comment, in case the hater needs a little reminder.

If you don’t know the troll’s address, Thek will find it for you — but in that case the price rises from $35 to $60.

Kat Thek, troll cake aficionado. | ctvnews.ca

Thek says she was inspired to start Troll Cakes after she read a comment on Dolly Parton’s Facebook page that said, “Your Momma be so disappointed.” After reading that, she baked a cake and FedEx’ed it straight to the hater.

“I felt a little weird sending a mean cake to a grandma, but she said that to Dolly Parton!” Thek told CNN.

Fair enough.

Soon, people started sending Thek their own orders. “I like the contrast of someone being, ‘Oh, I’m powerful and scary from far away I’m gonna be so mean.’ Then that mean thing showing up on a colorful, idiotically happy cake,” Thek told New York’s Pix11 News. “That delights me.”

Perhaps even more delightful is Thek’s “Tiny Hands Special”: Choose your favorite Trump tweet and slap it on a cake and she’ll mail it to the White House. Wait, is that legal? Officially, the government discourages sending perishable gifts to the Oval Office, but it doesn’t appear to be against the law. Take that, White House!

To feel the petty satisfaction of making fun of some doofus behind a computer (am I the only one who thinks all internet trolls are all Nevel Papperman from iCarly?) feast your eyes on a few of my favorite Troll Cakes:

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Alyssa Girdwain
Dose
Writer for

Editor at @Dose and @OMGFacts. Probably wrapped in a blanket.