Are seatbelts for sissies?
To the Editor:
I read your article about the new law making seat belts mandatory and I have to say, I’m outraged. How dare they force me to buckle up? It’s my body and if I want to go flying through my windshield at full speed, that’s my business.
True, I will leave a bloody pulp for someone to clean up but that’s what taxes are for: to pay the salaries of the city workers who scrap our mangled bodies off the sidewalk. At the very least it will give them something to do. Instead of standing around all day leaning on their shovels.
The very sight annoys me. And the head always seems to get trapped between my buttocks. It’s infuriating. This is America, not Japan. Dying in a gruesome car crash is our right. Let’s not be cowards and throw that away for a long and healthy life.
Signed,
A Patriot
