How to Be Yourself
Listen to me to truly be you.
You’ve probably heard a thousand times that you should stop worrying about what other people think and just be yourself, but you might not know where to start. You might even think, “I’ve been conforming all my life, so maybe a conformist is just who I am. Thus, to be myself is to conform, right?”
Wrong. That’s not what ‘being yourself’ means. Besides, nobody likes conformists, and you want people to like you, don’t you?
Lucky for you, here is a simple guide to being your true self.
Find out who you are. It’s not always easy to look inside yourself, so it’s best to have others look for you, as they have a more direct view. Try posting pictures of yourself in a variety of outfits doing a wide range of activities on social media, then see what gets the most ‘likes.’ People are drawn to authenticity, so it’s a safe bet that the version of you that most people like best is the real you.
Express yourself publicly. A falling tree makes no sound if there is no one there to hear it, and an inner nature isn’t actualized without external praise. By posting photos and stories of all the ways that you are an individual who does what you want without worrying about what other people think, you prove without a doubt that you are living your own life for you.
Find causes you are passionate about. The movements you join define your unique outlook, so it is crucial to pick the right ones. Naturally, if a movement is truly worthwhile, a lot of cool people will be drawn to it, so the best way to find a good cause is to see what your friends are currently campaigning for on social media.
If the causes you find don’t make a lot of sense to you, keep in mind that you are new to being yourself, and thus your perceptions may still be distorted by internalized conformity. Your friends who have demonstrated the courage to express their views online are thinking for themselves, so their views are closer to your true opinions than the false notions that society has forced into your head.
If you have a friend whose views seem to get more criticism than praise, though, then that friend is probably also a conformist whose lack of authenticity is a turn off to others. It’s best to cut ties with such people rather than risk being dragged down with them.
Never apologize for being yourself. If the things you do, say, or throw upset other people, then those people are in the wrong for not accepting you for who you are. They are the ones who should be apologizing to you. ‘Respectfulness’ and ‘not advocating violence’ are concepts created by society to oppress bold individuals fighting for change, and anyone who supports them is trying to kill the very essence of your being.
However, if you express views that seem to draw in criticism from your trendiest friends, you should consider the possibility that those are not your real views and you were not being yourself when you expressed them. In such situations it is only appropriate to apologize and clarify that you misstated your true position.
