Is Anything More Interesting than Meghan Markle?

Why are there not more pictures of her on the cover of magazines when I go to the super market? I am really, really mad. I saw a magazine and it didn’t even have one article about Meghan Markle. Then, I picked up another magazine and there was only a small picture of her.

I want every news web site to have an enormous photo of her. I want to know exactly what she’s wearing at all times. I want to know more, yes, even more, about that spat she had with Kate.

I want to know more about her crazy father and her half sister.

Now that she’s pregnant, I want to know about her morning sickness. What color is her throw up?

I’m not getting enough.

I’m very frustrated.

I want more, do you hear me?

Give it to me! Or I’ll scream, I swear!

Give me more Meghan!

Now!