What’s wrong with drunk driving?
To the Editor:
I read your article about the new punishments for drunk driving and I have to say, I’m outraged. How dare they force me to drive sober? I pay good money for my alcohol and if I want to enjoy it while speeding through the city that’s my business. A man’s car is his castle. I can do whatever I want in there.
True, I might hit someone and so, make a permanent dent in their family tree, but that’s just the risk they take for being out on the roads at night. I’m taking that chance so why shouldn’t they?
And what is this nonsense about police stopping people and making them blow into a box? If they want to know if I’ve been drinking, all they have to do is ask. If they’re nice about it, I’ll even give them a shot from the open whiskey bottle I keep in my crotch. Because, unlike some people, I appreciate the hard work the police do and am more than willing to show my gratitude by getting them liquored up on the job.
There are so many bad guys out there — murderers, rapists and such — I don’t understand why the police stop me just because I’m weaving between lanes. There’s usually more than one and as a taxpayer, it’s my right to use as many as I please. This is America, not Iran. Prohibition ended a long time ago. Al Capone went to jail for our right to drive drunk. Let’s not let him down.
Signed,
A Patriot
