I have Faced Discrimination in Every Professional Job I’ve Ever had in My Life.
I’ve been working since I was 15 and never had a job where I didn’t experience some form of discrimination. I am now 39 years of age and recently started a new company to combat discrimination in the workplace. This blog will provide insights into the genesis for my two companies, Diverse City and Inclusology. As I move into 2021, I am reflecting heavily on the clarity I have gained this year, which has informed and elevated my purpose. If you ever are in a space to reflect on your purpose, the best place to begin is at the root where you put action to purpose in order to create the reality where you want to exist and feel whole — where you belong and feel appreciated and respected. There’s this moment of self-fullness that happens and changes everything you believe about the world and what you know to be the truth. My truth is that as a Black woman who has been working tirelessly for 24 years and has more to go before I retire, that no matter what role I am in, I am likely to face more episodes of discrimination at work. This post highlights some of my experiences to date.
Age 15–17 (1996–98): I remember how excited I was to start my first job. One of my closest friends had put in a good word at Godfather’s Pizza on 60th & Ames in Omaha, Nebraska, and I was hired as a cashier. I was making $5.25/hr. and the money was one thing, but it was more about the sense of independence and making my own way. I grew up economically disadvantaged or in poverty. I didn’t always have name brand shoes and clothes like everyone else. My siblings and I wore things from Goodwill and places that offered discount clothing. I wanted to buy things like shoes, cars, and clothes for myself and this was my first step. While working on this job, I remember my managers John and Mike. John was the asshole and Mike was the cool one. I remember the guys in the kitchen used to make fun of my weight. I remember how John used to punish me if I took the brown salad out of the buffet because he was more worried about saving money than the health of the community in North Omaha. I remember when my Black friends would come in to order pizza, he would hover over me like I was stealing. He racially profiled my friends and me. I worked here for almost two years, receiving a total of .25 in raises during that time. The one thing I think the most about now is how I never had the words back then to understand sizeism and racism. I get it now.
Age 17–18 (1998–99): I worked as an inbound telemarketer at Sitel and APAC selling cell phones to customers in the Midwest. I was making $9.25/hr. I was coming up in the world. I remember answering the phone and being called “a dumb Black bitch” by a white male who lived in St. Louis because he didn’t like the bass in my voice and wanted a White salesperson. I remember my manager writing me up because I hung up on the customer, after telling me I should have still worked to close the sale. I lasted on this job for three months. I only worked there during the summer to make money for college.
Age 18–26 (1999–2007): I was off to college and knew I would need a job for support. I started working in the Department of Black Programs at New Mexico State University as a work study-student. I was helping the office manager, Big Sherlie, with filing, errands, and other office chores. I remember taking a proposal to the Associated Students of New Mexico State University for us to receive funding for Black History Month. I remember the White and Hispanic students rolling their eyes at our proposal, I remember them asking why they should fund our programming when we could just attend “their “ events. I remember always having to fight for funding because we were Black Programs. I remember the racial slurs being hurled at us from both White and Hispanic students. I remember fighting with the racially biased systems of financial aid, admissions, faculty, and accounts receivable because they didn’t have policies that supported students from underrepresented backgrounds, especially impoverished Black communities. I remember sitting in a social work class where a professor was discussing the racial bias of standardized testing and hearing him say “why do we need to know the area of a triangle, why aren’t we asking how many cups of water do you put into collard greens.” I remember being the only Black student in a class of 131 students and having everyone look at me. I remember going up to the professor afterward to discuss the racism in his example and how he explained to me that he was “on my side” and to leave him alone. I remember having to fight with advisors who tried to coerce Black students into leaving college because “it just wasn’t for them.” Some of these attempts were successful. I remember someone writing a racist joke on a board during Black History Month: “What’s the difference between Black people and tires? Tires don’t scream when you put chains on them.” I wondered how something so ignorant and cruel could be placed on a public board as we celebrated our history and culture. I stayed on as an advisor for eight years. I graduated with my MA by then and was ready to move on. I was exhausted and needed a break. I didn’t get it. In between this time the economic recession had hit, and I couldn’t find a professional full-time job between 2007–09. I was working in gas stations and restaurants just to stay above water. It was a difficult time. A time of growth that prepared me for what was to come in 2009.
Age 22–24 (2003–05): I worked at University Hills Elementary in Las Cruces, New Mexico, as a paraprofessional. I was an assistant in the computer lab. I remember Ian, the young White child of the kindergarten teacher, who approached to me on the playground, saying, “Your ooyfriend was a nigger.” He had seen us at Walmart together. When I attempted to tell Ian’s mother, she assured me her child would not say such a thing. Luckily, his friend Jesse was there and their mothers were friends. Jesse told his mother what happened. She called Ian’s mother, who then walked him into my class the next morning and made him apologize. This same White woman saw pictures of my sorority on my computer screensaver and filed a complaint that I was a gang member. The principal called me into her office and made me take down the computer screen because Black people wearing Greek letters were too similar to a gang! I decided to go back to school and obtain my MA and learn about discrimination in education.
Age 27–30 (2008–11): I had moved back and started working as the educational director for the Boys & Girls Club of North Omaha. I loved this job, the organized chaos, the non-traditional forms of education and the opportunities to work and improve our communities, the Black community. I remember being offered $28,000/yr. with a master’s degree to be a director. Tom Kunkel had severely underpaid me, and I didn’t know any better. I took it because my family was struggling, I was sharing a room with my sister. I was desperate and needed a change. I was good at this job and was promoted to a unit director of Mount View Elementary School where I made $32,000/yr. I found out other unit directors both White men and women were making around $45,000/yr. I didn’t find this out until I was preparing to leave and head back to college and they tried to get me to stay. I didn’t realize I was never taught to know my professional worth and for that reason, I was taken advantage of by a White male who knew better and should’ve done better. I remember the first time I felt discriminated against. We were in an all-staff meeting. The president of the club was there talking to us about our numbers. A woman named Cherry asked why we couldn’t achieve certain metrics, and I blew up! I told her how we worked with kids ages 5–18, who couldn’t learn the same curriculum if we didn’t have the resources to support them. If they wanted us to achieve better metrics, they had to give us better resources. My strong stance received a round of applause, but not any additional resources. I remember listening to the principal of Mt. View raise a concern about the behavior of our children as if they were out of control. I remember listening to the racial undertones of the complaint. I remember having to fight with the disproportionate number of Black, Brown, and poor White children being placed in foster care. I remember Black male coaches using our facility so their Little League teams could practice. I remember both the male coaches and staff attempting to disregard my authority and position in order to hold on to this false idea of masculinity that perpetuated sexism at the highest level. I remember seeing and feeling all of the classism, racism, and sexism that occurred during my time at the club against me and our children. I put up with this for two years before I decided to go back to college and earn my PhD. and focus on racism in higher education.
Age 30–32 (2011–13): I worked as a professor at NMSU while earning my PhD. I remember being discriminated against by the Institutional Review Board. They explained to me that my topic about racism and discrimination in higher education was too controversial and they feared for the safety of the institution, not the students. After a six-month fight, it ended up being passed. I remember White male students in my multicultural class screaming at me in order to prove their racist points and the white female students cheering them on. I remember white and Hispanic professors telling me I needed to read the material because I was “too quiet” in class. I remember white female professors asking me to explain the violence in Black communities because I was the only Black person in the class. I remember still fighting with ASNMSU in order to help Black programs achieve funding. I remember when the racist white and Hispanic students chastised Breanna Sylvas, one of the first multi-racial ASNMSU presidents, and tried to rig the election so that she wouldn’t win. I remember having to go to the President of the institution for the right to fight for this person to be elected into office. I remembered walking into Dona Ana Community College and being pushed by an older white male as he opened the door for a white woman. I filed assault charges. I asked the NAACP for help, they wrote a letter. The man worked as a professor in the computer science department. The university did nothing, and the campus police department decided not to pursue my complaint. I decided it was time to leave NMSU. I graduated with my PhD and applied for 444 jobs, and received two callbacks and one offer, as an Americorps VISTA in Seattle making $22,000/yr.
Age 32 (2013): I left Las Cruces, New Mexico. I was done with the racism of it all. I flew to Seattle looking for a brand new start and I found passive-aggressive and blatant racism. I remember working as a VISTA for the YMCA Bold and Gold Outdoor program. They were intentional about hiring more Black and Indigenous People of Color (BIPOC). In our first meeting, I called their “diversity strategy” the safest and whitest thing I had ever seen. They brought in more BIPOC to make the program more inclusive, but it didn’t end up that way. We were tokens as the director explained that they were diverse on staff because they had a Black woman working in the office as she pointed to Robyn, the Black woman, who she was tokenizing in the meeting. I lasted six weeks on this job and I was done. I thought I was going to be making a change, the one thing that I didn’t realize was that all of these experiences were changing me.
Age 32–35 (2013–16): I worked for a nonprofit company that shall remain nameless for legal reasons. Unfortunately, I can’t say much but I will say this place was the final cut of the many thousands I had encountered. It was time to launch my own company. I decided to launch my company because I had no other options but to quit a job and go into another one that would add to my racialized trauma.
Age 35–39 (2016 to the present): I am now the CEO of my two companies I founded. I’m working to build a workplace that is different from the ones I have encountered. The interesting thing about this experience is that I still face blatant racism, sexism, sizeism, and more. The positive thing about it is that it often comes from outside sources and not within our workplace culture. I am literally building companies, systems, and tools that stop discriminatory practices in the workplace. It comes from personal experience, academic experiences, professional experiences, and more. I have watched the people I love and have grown to love to suffer at the hands of oppressive systems and I have employees who are on the same mission due to similar and different experiences. They are still facing them at the hands of the many people we interact with on a daily basis. Many of these people are working towards change while navigating their own internal biases, but at least they are working. I’m living with the fact that when I retire we will still have work to do, but I’m going to take what I learned and continue building systems that are different from the discriminatory cultures I have worked in most of my adult life.
As we move into 2021, it is time to call out discrimination and the people who perpetuate it in our lives, whether we are at home or at work. We have to change ourselves, change the systems we created before we decided to change. We must also hold those who are unwilling to change accountable for their actions that harm others. Thanks for listening. Share in the comments some of your workplace experiences with discrimination. The world needs to hear your story.
