Let go of fear — a how to guide
There’s no way around it — we are our worst enemy. We love to come up with a long list of reasons why we aren’t good enough, why we’ll never make it, why there will always be someone better than us. But these aren’t reasons — they’re excuses and pretty bad ones at that. We are our own biggest haters, constantly shunning the reflection in the mirror, starting our day off in a shroud of self-doubt, going to bed at night with fear sleeping in our bones, dreading our failure but also secretly dreading our success, least it shoot us out of our zones of comforting mediocracy.
Until about one month ago I’d lived each day of my life in fear — and I was completely unaware of it. I’d got so used to the voice of self-doubt in my head that I’d learnt to mechanically believe every word. I held myself back from trying new things, from speaking to people, often telling myself I couldn’t do the simplest of tasks like remembering directions or hammering in a nail. And of course, as soon as I told myself I couldn’t do it — then I couldn’t. My actions reflected my thoughts as I kept myself running in a hamster wheel of never-ending self-restraint.
So what broke me free and changed my self-perception? Probably a combination of things all coinciding at the same point in my life, but the most important ones I’ve listed below in hope that you too can let go of fear and set yourself down your path of self-liberation.
Make the first thought of your day positive
When you wake up tomorrow morning, take note of the first thought that pops into your mind. Is it one of anxiety over something coming up that day or in the future? Is it one of regret for something you still haven’t got done? Or regret of something you did? Or is it a negative thought about your partner? An envious thought of a successful friend? Whatever that thought it, take hold of it and give it a positive spin. Situations only appear negative because we allow our minds to label them as such. Starting your day off in a positive frame of mind will help you keep the good vibes rolling all day long.
Do something outside your comfort zone
Does the mere thought of doing something new outside your zone of comfort fill you with fear? Well then what more reason do you need to do exactly that? To let go of fear we actually have to do the things we fear most. Yep, this may not be what you want to hear but there’s no way around it. I let go of fear by leaving my office job, flying forth form my country and finding ways to support myself as I travel the globe. Since leaving I have worked as an English teacher, a yoga teacher, a hula hoop teacher and a freelance writer — all of which require immense amounts of confidence and self-belief, the very qualities I’d always told myself I didn’t have. The other night I even did my very first fire hoop performance. Hell if I can spin a ring of fire around me in front of a crowd of people while not setting myself or them alight — then I’d say I’m doing ok on the letting go of fear front.
Do something each day that takes you out of your realm of comfort or routine. Start off simply by taking a new route to work, make it your mission to start a conversation with one stranger a day or put yourself out there by wearing a bright and colourful outfit. Make yourself cringe, feel your toes curl and send delicious shivers down your spine — feel the intense sensations of being alive and fully present. Feed off the adrenaline rush of doing something that scares you sh*tless and the immense satisfaction that washes over you afters.
Become self-aware
We all have little mannerisms and idiosyncrasies, that have become as much a part of ourselves as that favourite sweater we refuse to throw out. In other words, smelly, used, stale and with questionable holes and stains, you may not know what I’m talking about but everyone else will.
Sometimes we need those closest to us to point out the small things we do that hold us back in life. For me it was realising that I unintentionally interrupt people during conversations to ask for more information or to try too hard to show my interest. I also spend a lot of this conversation time mentally trying to find ways of cutting it short so I can escape. These mannerisms aren’t stemming from rudeness but rather from an acute sense of shyness I had as a young girl and have never allowed myself to believe I’ve grown out of. But I have. And I needed the important people in my life to point this out to me so I could consciously work on these characteristics each day. Ask someone you trust to give you a helping hand and a healthy dishing of tough love.
Don’t compare yourself to others
This one seems obvious and you’ve probably been told it a thousand times but do you find yourself still doing this? Every… single… day. I was the queen of comparison whether I allowed myself to realise this or not. Oh she’s got longer hair, longer legs, a better dress sense, a better job. We all do it and we’re only hurting ourselves by doing so. Every one of us is on this earth for a specific reason and with a secret mission which we conveniently forget the moment we are born. I’d be darned if I know what the hell it is I am supposed to be doing on this planet, but I’m starting to realise that I don’t need to know and I definitely don’t need to do it the same way everyone else is. Find your own groove, throw all your love into yourself and your unique passions and fill your life with the things you love.
Don’t for a second waste another moment thinking someone else is better off than you or less caught in the grips of fear. We all have our demons, but we also all have own hip flask of stardust. Take a swig of yours and shoot off in your own thrilling trajectory.
Enjoy the journey
Don’t forget to take life less seriously. Don’t stress the small things, don’t create problems in your mind that don’t really exist. This is all a lot easier said than done, but each day, the more conscious you become of your own thought patterns and behaviours, the easier it becomes for you to escape negative ways of being. Catch out your ego, keep your mind in check, be a witness to how you react to certain people and situations. Rather than reacting out of fear, act from a place of compassion and kindness. The more generous and genuine you are with everyone and everything you encounter, the more you receive in abundance of love and blessings — guaranteed.
So saddle up and enjoy the journey. Celebrate the small victories, give thanks for everything from each meal you eat to each step you take. You are so incredibly fortunate to be you, to be alive and to be on a path to a new and fearless you!
Ready for lift off? Head to Dreamer Do to get your dreams off the ground.
❤ Enjoyable read? Hit recommend, and help others let go of fear too! ❤
