How much of what is said is irrelevant? If 20% of what humans speak is responsible for cooperation in any situation, is 80% irrelevant? Could the 80/20 rule apply here?

Is it human nature to prefer to hold irrelevant opinions because they’re easy? As in the principle of least effort? And are we basically trying to show alliances by restating opinions? I think that is so, most of the time. I hope we can inspire our leaders at every level set a better example.

To improve our interpersonal communication and public discourse, i think a growth mindset is somehow needed. The growth mindset is a term for our ability to change some basic nature about ourselves if we practice something consistently.

I want to find out if the growth mindset is a key to unlocking relevance in our interpersonal communication. Relevance — as in the connection between two pieces of knowledge. As in, ‘This video i watched is relevant to what you were talking about.’ Because something has to replace our egos in conversation. Something has to replace the black/white true/false dichotomies in public discourse. There has to be more room for context, and relevance. And maybe it starts by acknowledging that in any debate, whatever we feel like saying is probably irrelevant.

The day can’t come soon enough when we can generally elevate our level of discussion to demand relevance. It implies a grasp of logic. ‘Irrelevant!’ is a common and effective objection in court. It cuts through demagoguery — that exploiting of emotions, prejudice, and ignorance to arouse others, or appealing to passions of the crowd while shutting down reasoning. But it has yet to become the standard across popular thought culture.

This is about how we talk to each other. The journey I’m suggesting is to discover some path forward to evolved communication. I don’t know what that path is, but I know what works for me.

What is working for you? In your approach to our crazy and inexplicable interpersonal reality?

What is working for me, is thinking more about why something is being said, and believing that we can look forward to better communication. And I don’t mean attaining theatrical speaking skills… just communicating — simply conveying ideas clearly and coming to authentic consensus.

I like to remind myself that it’s not our duty to convert people to think like we do. I have to remind myself that I’m not writing in order to trap people with logic and moralize them and change their minds.

My power is limited. And that is another key — to just make sure we take control over what’s within our power, and leave alone what is outside our sphere of influence. Do I find myself in conversation claiming things beyond my sphere? Or being offended by things that aren’t really, actually, truly about me? I know I do. So there’s something to practice.

Thank you for reading this bit of call to action as I work out my own voice and path to empowerment.