We stood in the ashes of childhood, the broken memories falling tenderly as the book of friendship closed.
Longing for one more night of reckless abandon I grasp for your too far gone hands, helplessly trying to keep you near.
Years have passed as we grew together like vines on a brick wall, ever climbing to new heights connected by a single bud.
How has it come to be that the wild fire inside burned the bridges we built so carefully, so unimaginably strong?
Those times we stayed up past dawn riding the night to places we never imagined existed, they haunt me now in my lonely bed.
I’m left here watching as you fly to foreign lands to celebrate the joining of two lives, to bask in magic that I could have shared.
But my darkness, the fear and self-loathing have forced me to track back into a nightmare that continues to repeat.
Perhaps this pain isn’t my own, and maybe you feel this way too, but I know that my betrayal was enough to push you so far away I am but an afterthought.
More than ten years are now etched in pictures and messages and trinkets that hold no real value except the energy we’ve invested in them.
Picture frames lay face down on my dresser, too bright to be tolerated, to gather dust as I write these words to friends I’ve lost.
And between each breath I hear your names, see your faces, remember the laughter that will forsake my sanity until it is washed away altogether by bitter thoughts and unwarranted resentment.
I can only hope the break was smooth for you, and that the ghosts I’ve left behind won’t haunt you, won’t keep you glancing back at the face of a lost and broken man.
You both deserve more than I could ever give, and for the hurt I feel I wish you only the best.
You were, are, the best.
