The diet that never Keetoed!

There goes another day in Arun’s life and the question still remains in his mind, ‘Am I old or young’, ‘Am I success worthy or not’, ‘Will the day ever come or is it not destined for me?’. Ugh…’When will I get know?’, ponders Arun in his breakfast table swirling the cornflakes milk bowl with his spoon. His life(less) thoughts are disturbed when a lunchbox is slid towards him. Arun wakes up to the moment and looks up to his wife Priyanka standing next to him in her nightdress with a bun on her head and half sleep eyes.

‘I have made some scrambled paneer and sprouts for lunch’ she adds. Arun sighs with a disappointment.

‘Isn’t it supposed to be boiled eggs for lunch. I left a note in the kitchen last night’ adds Arun.

‘Hey, be nice for what you get. We ran out of eggs and I woke up late. When is this keeto-veeto thing of yours getting over?

’10 more days to go. It’s a two-week diet plan. I informed you earlier. Didn’t I?’

‘Well you did. But with the number of instructions you have been giving me, it feels like a month already. In fact, I lost few pounds running around to get stuff done for you’

Sensing the frustration, Arun pulls out his trump card stunt. He pulls her towards him, seats her on his lap and hushes in her ears ‘Pinku, you are so sweet. I love you’ and kisses her on the neck.

‘Haan…Haan. Love and all is fine. But the pact is still on okay?’

‘What pact?’ Wonders Arun.

‘Ada paavi (You trait). You thought I’m doing this keeto thing as a part of CSR activities ah?’

‘No. Not at all. You are doing this, because you love me’

‘Mannankatti (Damn you) love? Dint we turn our love into marriage? Everything post marriage is transaction only. I want you to pay for my new Zumba class membership after your diet is over’

‘Wait! What happened to your existing one?’

‘I’m bored of it. That place is sad. I couldn’t gel with anyone. Only old women come there’

‘Pinku, you don’t need to gel. You just need to go, dance the fuck out and come back.’

Priyanka feels the heat in his tone and gets up from his lap and walks towards the kitchen. Arun leaves a pause as he hears Priyanka starting to chopp some vegetable fiercely inside and he continues

‘ And moreover, you don’t attend those classes daily after the first few days’

‘No. I go regularly’ comes the reply, instantly from the kitchen.

‘When was the last time you went?’

‘Two weeks back’

‘Fine. When did you go before that two weeks?’

‘Two weeks before that two weeks’

‘How is that regular, my lady?’

Furious Priyanka comes out of the kitchen with the knife ‘Fine! Maybe not regularly mister. But I go at regular intervals of time. Does that convince you?’

Arun calms down whenever he sees his wife raises her voice. He softens his voice and adds ‘I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry. What is this class about? Where is it?

The reply from Arun puts an instant smile on her face and she comes running towards him, drops the knife on the breakfast table and pulls a brochure from the bottom of the water jug and hands it over to him.

‘This is a new workout place called CULT. It is located near our house in HSR itself. It is so beautiful Arun. It has a sauna, shower and nice green carpets and all. I went for a sample free class and it’s so refreshing’

Arun knows there is a catch it in the excitement and wants that to be broken. ‘How much does it cost Pinku?’

‘It is 36,000/year and there is an offer that is going on and it costs 19,000 if I enroll in next two days’

‘That’s double of what you were paying for the previous classes Pinku’

‘I know, but this is much better. We need to upgrade ourselves Arun’

‘We are not iPhone models. We don’t need to upgrade for no reason’

‘Stop kidding. I’m serious’

‘Okay. I’m serious. How do you think, I’m going to arrange that money in two days?’

‘Hmmm….’, Pauses Priyanka and hesitates to utter. ‘You were supposed to get a bonus today right?’

‘No. No. No…Pinku. You know that I have been saving my bonuses for my startup idea. I cant do that’.

‘I know. I know. But listen, I just want a small portion of it. It shouldn’t make a big difference. Last time you got a lump sum and I got nothing out of it. I just want a peanut portion of it this time. Please..say yes’

‘You are putting me a difficult situation Pinku. Let me see, what I can do. Im leaving now. It’s getting late’. Arun picks up his lunch box and leaves for the office.

As Arun enters his office, he could see groups of people circling around their cubicles staring at their phones. A colleague comes running towards him

‘Dude, we are fucked. This time we aren’t getting any bonuses. Founder says that the new funding round is getting delayed. He has sent a mail and everybody is talking about it, did you check it?

‘No. I dint. What are we going to do? I have commitments based on the bonuses da’ utters Arun with a disappointed tone.

‘Don’t know macha! This is startup life. We will have to figure out something. Acha listen, I’m going out for a smoke. Have bought some homemade moti chur ladoos. Grab them before it gets over. It’s in my desk. ‘

‘Sure’ replies Arun and as the colleague walks away Arun calls him out again and asks ‘Macha…can I take two?’

[FIN]