Stop Drinking that 9-to-5 Kool-aid
Do you ever wake up and, as you lift your delicate cranium from your mediocre pillow, say to yourself, “Wow, I am just totally on the right path with my life these days”… yeah, me neither. Though recently, for the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m starting to build the right path for myself. And oh how refreshing it feels! While I’m only 2.5 weeks into 4 Months X 4 Cities, I can confidently say that I KNOW I’m headed in the right direction. I can’t remember the last time I could honestly say that out loud.
Revelation of the week:
Society doesn’t create a path for us, it creates a conveyor belt. A hop-on-and-never-get-off option that is dangled in front of the children who attend decent grade schools from the Empire State to the Golden State and every state in between. But it doesn’t stop at grade school, most of the college educated population drinks the “9-to-5 Kool-aid.” Graduates leave college with a diploma in hand and the expectation in their hearts that once they find that high-paying job in the field of their major, they will be successful, happy, and overall winning at life.
Not the case my friends, not the case!
The majority of 20-somethings I’ve asked (both close friends and new acquaintances) are either moderately unhappy in their current jobs, or have no idea where they want their career path to take them two years down the line. Now, of course there are exceptions — I have friends that have known for years that they wanted to work at a PR agency or go to med school, and that’s exactly what they’re doing AND they are happy while doing it! But I’ve become very sensitive to the socially encouraged conveyor belt and how damaging it can be for so many 20-somethings!
Not only is the conveyor belt extremely limiting for those who have hopped on, but it also encourages the stigmatization of those who have chosen alternative paths. I’ve come to realize through much reflection, that people don’t need to be challenged by institutions in order to grow, they need to be challenged by themselves — challenged by taking a divergent trail, challenged by putting themselves in uncomfortable and unfamiliar situations.
Everyone knows at least one person from their high school graduating class that didn’t go to college, chose not to go to college, or took time off before or during college. What was your first reaction to hearing the predicament of those folks? My guess (and it’s my guess because I’ve been guilty of it) is that your first reaction was judgment.
How tragic is that?! Our society has taught us not only that there is a singular and clear path that we should all buy into, but also that those who have rejected the path deserve some kind of alienation!
Alright, I think I’ve given you enough food for thought. So in terms of my personal journey, here’s a quick summary of what I’ve been up to over the past 1.5 weeks:
- I met (over the phone) Dana Cook, an incredible lady and role model. She is an overall boss and one of the producers behind The Empowerment Project — a documentary that asks women and girls — What would you do if you weren’t afraid to fail? Never before have I felt such an instant connection with someone I’ve never actually met face-to-face. Her outlook on life is inspiring and encouraging in every possible way!
- I saw two amazing films while volunteering at the Athena Film Festival, which focuses on celebrating women and leadership: Obvious Child & We Are the Best. I recommend them both wholeheartedly!
- I went to an inspiring information session at The Future Project — a place that I fully intend to work at/with. I left the info session feeling so sure that working for this organization was what I was supposed to do with my life. HOW CRAZY IS THAT!? Feeling as though I found something so special and rare, I reached out to one of The Future Project’s Dream Directors and shadowed her at a NYC high school to see what the job was all about.
- I spent half a day shadowing a friend of a friend who works at a K-2nd grade Success Academy charter school in Brooklyn. These. Kids. Were. Adorable. That is all.
- I attended an awesome and intimate networking event with Quarterlette and Carly Williams of The Sideways Approach. And I got the chance to follow up with one of the Quarterlette founders over coffee to chat about doing some work with them in the future — updates to come.
Each person I’ve met through 4 Months X 4 Cities has left me feeling more and more inspired and empowered to keep doing what I’m doing. I’ve gotten similar (and reassuring) feedback from most of the people that I’ve met:
“If only I had the foresight when I was your age to do something like what you’re doing.”
If that’s not encouraging, I don’t know what is!
I’ve been working on “owning” 4 Months X 4 Cities. I’m notoriously bad at taking any compliment and at the beginning of my journey when people would say, what you’re doing is so brave, I found myself feeling slightly self-conscious and would respond, well, I haven’t done it yet, so it’s not THAT brave. Now I’m working on responding with a simple, thank you. It’s important to me that I work on not feeling guilty about the opportunity that I’ve created for myself.
So here I am, I’ve jumped off the conveyor belt after years of drinking that sweet 9–5 Kool-aid, and I’m cementing my own winding path, brick by brick, day by day.
My advice to those considering a similar path to 4 Months X 4 Cities: be open to people — ALL PEOPLE, put yourself in uncomfortable and unfamiliar situations, and don’t give yourself the chance to make any excuses!
Also, I made this dope video last week — one of my friends described in the following comical way: It’s like a trailer… but for your life!
This post is part of a series documenting a personal journey I created for myself starting February 1, 2015. The journey took me from New York City, to Austin, TX, to San Francisco, and ended in Chicago, where I lived in each city for exactly one month. I’m reposting all the 4 Months X 4 Cities stories — this one was originally published on February 17, 2015.
