People are not a commodity

Recently I took my oldest daughter out on a daddy-daughter date for Valentine’s Day. The fact that she is only 3 years old did not prevent her from getting dressed up all fancy in a nice dress. Her mom gave her some pearls to wear and even taught her how to carry her little purse. My daddy heart was definitely on life-support that night. For dinner, I had prepared a super upscale high-end place called Chick-fil-a to which we would share our meal out on the town. After our dinner was over, as we were walking to the car hand-in-hand, she got the great idea to stop by the dollar store (one of my daughter’s favorite places to shop because she can use her own money) and get mom a present.

While walking around in the dollar store, my daughter in a fancy dress and me in a sports coat, a woman passed us in the aisle and comment on how cute Grace was. Grace said, “Thank you,” and kept walking. Two minutes later, that’s when it happened: that same lady came up to me and started asking some very personal questions. I will paraphrase but it went something like this…

Lady: Hey there. I own my own investing company and was wondering if I could help your family.

Me: Ok, I’m not really interested in talking about investing right now. I’m on a date with my daughter.

Lady: That’s fine, what do you do for work?

Me: (stunned look on my face about why we are still talking) I am a manager at a store in town.

Lady: Oh really, what’s your phone number, I’ll reach out to you?

Me: No thanks, I don’t give out my personal information to strangers.

Lady: Oh ok, here’s my business card you can just write your number on the back.

Me: (stunned look on my face has now turned to a not so friendly look of utter frustration) No thanks, I’m on a date with my daughter.

Lady: Ok, then maybe we can talk at another time about investing…

As she continued to talk, I started to walk away seeing that was the only way I could get the conversation to end.

Now before I go any further, I want to say what this article is not. I am not complaining about anybody trying to work hard and provide for their family. I am not even going to complain about somebody trying to hustle and see an opportunity of a well-dressed man and little girl and think that I represent a valuable prospect for her future business. But I will say this: people are not a commodity.

No matter what line of work you are in — tele-marketing, ministry, management, sports — people are not a commodity, although they are often treated like one.

Sometimes we would never come out and say this, but often we only are interested in making a friendship with a person to see what we can get out of them or how they can benefit us in the future. I have been guilty of this before myself.

What ticked me off the most about the story that I shared with you above is the fact that this lady was interrupting some of the most priceless moments with my little daughter for her own personal gain even after I said it wasn’t a good time.

So with my rant being said, I offer a few lessons I have learned and a few suggestions if you can identify with any part of that story.

Have the emotional intelligence to recognize a situation for what it is — I am often surprised by some people and their lack of self-awareness. Whether it is somebody who is being obnoxiously loud in a closed environment and don’t realize it or a person who is out in public with little kids all around them and they are cursing like a sailor. Have enough emotional intelligence to tell yourself to stop when you need to.

Stop viewing people as something to acquire and rather view them as a human to relate to — At our core we are not something to be bought and sold but rather a human being with emotions and feelings. We have not only a body but a soul and a spirit; treat people accordingly. My job is to lead people on a daily basis to achieve their dreams and aspirations. If I am not careful, I can view people as simply a stepping stone in my own career. I am nice to them so that hopefully they might put in a good word for me with somebody who has influence over my career. This mindset is wrong and I need to value people for what they are: another person.

Time spent with those you love will always be a fight — Although I did not get into a fight with the business lady, there was definitely a fight going on in the dollar store that night. The fight was not a verbal or emotional fight between me and this lady, but rather a fight for time with my daughter. Sometimes that fight for time with my loved ones won’t be from without, meaning another person, but from within, meaning me. Am I too distracted by my hobbies or social media when I come home that I don’t fully give myself to being present and engaged with my family? Too often I am and must remind myself of what’s most important.

I hope this article is a help to you and will shed some new light on how you deal with people.