Are you a Question Person or an Answer Person? You need to choose!
Though many of us try to make ourselves look smart by giving clever answers, we would be much better off if we focused our attention on asking questions.
- John C. Maxwell
That’s it! Honestly, that quote effectively sums up the message I want to share with this post. I am going to expound however, not because I think I can say it any better than legendary author John Maxwell, but because history has proven that reading that quote alone won’t be enough. One good quote just isn’t enough to persuade you that being a question person holds deeper value than being an answer person.
On my quest to become a better questioner, I have realized how true this question vs answer lesson is, and I desperately wish to share with everyone. Opening your mind to consider becoming a ‘question person’ can have an incredibly significant impact on your life. John Maxwell has also stated:
When I look back at the progression of my life, I can see that questions have marked the way for my growth, prompted positive changes of direction, and led to many successes.
I promise that questions can have that same powerful influence in your life as well. If you take the time to understand and use questions more effectively, it will open doors that would never have opened otherwise.
Dr. Marilee Adams is the founder of the Inquiry Institute and author of Change Your Questions, Change Your Life: 12 Powerful Tools for Leadership, Coaching and Life. I highly recommend researching her work and getting a copy of that book for yourself.
In Change Your Questions, Change Your Life, Dr. Adams employs a narrative example of a young professional named Ben.
Ben is intelligent, proud, and ambitious. He is also a self proclaimed answer person.
“I’m the Answer Man, the Go-To guy, I’ve built my whole career around being the person people go to for answers.”
“The bottom line for me is answers and results. That’s what business is all about.”
Have you ever felt like Ben, when your main focus and driving factor was just answers answers answers? If so, you will find this post (and Dr. Adams book) more insightful than you may have bargained for.
Throughout the story, Ben becomes well acquainted with Joseph, a Question Thinking management consultant. After some initial resistance, and patient coaching from Joseph, Ben eventually makes a major paradigm shift and changes his opinion about maintaining his status as “the answer man.”
It boils down to the fact that the person asking the questions is the one steering the conversation. The one asking questions can choose whether to use positive or negative questions which will impact how others respond. The one asking good questions ultimately has the power of influence. They can influence their own thoughts and happiness, a team they are assigned to manage or work with, or even a relationship which they wish to strengthen. The one who asks questions has a greater influence on outcome than the one who provides the answers.
If you stop and evaluate any power dynamic, you quickly realize that it is actually the one who asks questions that wields the most power in the relationship. But when you think about it, this isn’t new information at all.
- Teachers ask questions to their students either in class, or on a test.
- Managers ask questions to subordinates, who are expected to deliver results.
- Parents ask their kids what they’re learning and what they care about.
These are just a few of so many examples to demonstrate that the respected individual in power is the one that is asking the most (and hopefully best) questions.
If we can see this, and societal norms reinforce the construct over and over again; then why is it that you and I are so similar to Ben? Why are we always wanting to look smart by having answers?!
We will actually look (and be) much smarter when we start asking valuable and difficult questions, then work with others to find the answers that matter.
Frankly, very few people do this because our education system and professional environment are set up to teach us that success IS based on our ability to regurgitate answers. Students must know the answers for tests. Employees have to answer to managers that are looking for results. Children do need to answer the questions of a concerned parent. It is not your fault that the experiences of life have conditioned you to think that having answers is the key to success. In most developmental roles, that is something that can’t be avoided.
On top of that, it is true that every profession is ultimately valued based on the answers they can provide. Those answers may be in the form of strategic solutions, products, or services that somehow alleviate pain points (aka have an answer to someones problem). My first ‘real job’ was at a local restaurant as a teenager. The position required me to provide answers every night as I would check off the list of required tasks (yes I have completed this duty today). Until I was promoted to management, the only question I was taught to ask was a simple “Hi, welcome to Gandolfo’s, what can I get for you today?” The customer was there for an answer to their hunger. Essentially, people get paid when answers get provided.
I am not pretending that answers have no value. I completely admit that answers in life and in business are crucial. What I am saying though is that answers are a downstream event of a question that was previously asked. Someone in a position of power asks, and all the underlings go scurrying to provide the right answers. If all you aim for is to be a supplier of answers, you will always be an ‘underling’ at the beckon call of a higher authority. You need to assert your own authority by starting to add original, though provoking questions to your own arsenal. It’s time to stop relying on answers alone.
You have a choice. You have the choice to flip the script on the power dynamic of life. You can choose to take control by being the one that asks important questions. You do not have to sit in the back and provide the answers to others for the rest of your life.
You have to realize that being a ‘question person’ actually gives you more freedom and power than being an ‘answer person.’ Once you do realize this, you can start claiming that power by learning how to put questions to work for you. Asking good, deliberate questions is a skill that must be developed with practice and time.
On this journey just remember, it is the habit of consistently asking deliberate questions that will increase success over time. You can not sit down this afternoon and brainstorm ‘the perfect question’ that will unlock this ‘hidden success.’ No, you must learn, then consistently apply question asking skills over time. Success is found in the consistent application of good habits, not from a singular stroke of the “genius jackpot.”
Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.
-Anthony Robins
Good questions are important.
Driven by Questions is a branch of Red Cliff Labs. We publish this free blog to inspire readers to take control of their personal and professional lives by asking better questions.
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