The Oral History of Women
An Appropriation Poem
What do you do with stuff like this, fragments of memory and experience from an ordinary life? Who validates memory and straightens out the tales? In earlier times, when extended families were commonplace and members of three or four generations often shared a single home or community, there was time and opportunity for storytelling, for the passing of history and legends from the old to the young. But as we have become a more mobile and rootless society, blessed or afflicted with the diversions of the late 20th century — television, VCRs, video games and other interests — those intergenerational transactions are less common and more difficult to sustain.
3. Look underneath your car before approaching it in a parking garage or lot at night.
4. If you return to your car and see that a van is parked right next to the driver’s side, enter through the passenger side. Predators often use vans and will disguise it as a family car, even using “Baby on Board” decals.
She told me if anyone touched me in a way I didn’t like, to scream, run, tell someone. […] When I started going out at night, my mother reminded me of the awful things that might happen. She gave tips. Stay alert. Hold your head high. Walk with purpose. If you get a bad feeling, run. Scream. Don’t leave your girlfriends. […] Nothing can prevent the assaults of many women and girls except luck. Or living in a different universe.
10. Always immediately lock your hotel room door after you enter.
11. When traveling, do not walk with your map in your hand. It is a dead giveaway that you are a tourist. Therefore, you are an easy target.
I had said out loud, “hold on a second, men can get raped too, it isn’t just women.” The officer apologized and agreed that males can be raped by males, and then I also added that “women can be rapists too.” However, his response was to inform us that 80% of rape cases unfortunately involve a man raping a women, but I wanted to make it clear to everyone that we shouldn’t feel like because we are a women, we are supposed to get raped; I just didn’t want to normalize that.
17. When going out with your girlfriends, decide beforehand that you will stick together. Do not let your friend go off alone with a guy.
18. Don’t put your name on your apartment buzzer. If you’re expecting guests, just let them know which number to push. This way, only people who know you know exactly where you live.
Women in many cultures tend to be the keepers of family stories. […] As many oral historians have noted, women are often more likely than men to situate their experiences within networks of people; they interpret their experiences as contingent and relative to those of others.
