Metabolizing Past Failure To Fuel Future Success
By Cassandra Shepard, Owner and Executive Coach at Shepherd+CO LLC
What To Do If You Didn’t Reach A Goal In 2018 But Are Still Determined To Do So In 2019
With the arrival of 2019, no doubt you are looking ahead to what you want to accomplish and achieve this year. For many of us, that likely involves revisiting a goal from last year that we didn’t quite hit. In case you’re thinking everyone around you totally accomplished everything they planned last year, know this: according to U.S. News, approximately 80 percent of resolutions made in the new year fail by February. So if you find yourself in this predicament, you’re not alone.
Gifted leaders metabolize failure.
They take what didn’t work and learn from it to have failure fuel success rather than fueling excuses and regret. Discerning how to do this and knowing what to do differently in 2019 is vital if you want a different outcome.
Here are five key steps for you to take to metabolize past failure to fuel future success.
Step 1: Ask yourself “What am I thrilled about in not reaching my goal?”
Yes, THRILLED I say! It’s so counter-intuitive to start here, but trust this process. There are hidden truths and obstacles that come to light when you ‘fess up to gaining something from missing a goal. No one’s watching over your shoulder so go ahead and spill the beans on all the great things that you didn’t have to do, or the hard ways in which you didn’t have to grow in order to achieve the goal you were after. What did you get from not achieving this goal? What lessons did you learn in not meeting this goal? These insights will help you know what to look out for when you get to step five below.
Step 2: Identify where there is regret, disappointment, feelings of lack or even possibly shame. Get them out of your head and heart and onto paper. Write as honestly as you can about how sad and bad, angry and mad you are about missing this goal. Doing so allows you to better process and bring closure to the past so you can move forward with lighter, clearer energy.
Step 3: Ask yourself: “Was this a goal I REALLY wanted to reach?”
I mean, REALLY, as in from the depths of your soul…was this goal an absolute MUST for you?
If your answer is anything less than an absolute “hell yeah!!!” — this goal wasn’t a must-have priority for you. And here’s the truth: when a goal isn’t a priority it will never get the planning, attention, time and resources needed to make it a reality.
What to do? Let it go. Get real with yourself and just scratch this goal off your list. You’ll regain your energy and open yourself up to go after goals that are real priorities instead.
If your answer to this question was indeed a “hell yeah!” — investigate what happened like you’re Sherlock.
- Did you have a robust and fun action plan to achieve the goal?
- Did you have the right support to help you achieve the goal?
- Did you give it the time, money and energy it needed?
Step 4: Ask yourself: “Was this a goal ***I*** really wanted to reach?”
Think this is the same question as in step 3? It’s not. Notice the emphasis here.
“I.” As in YOU.
Not your spouse.
Not your boss.
Not the perfectionist voice inside your head that tells you you ‘should’ do this or that.
Things we feel we ‘should’ do, or worse yet, that others tell us we should do but that we’re not excited about, are about as much fun as an enema. In dealing with ‘shoulds’ from others, set strong boundaries and have whatever necessary conversation you need to have with the other person to reset expectations.
If this goal was really one you wanted to reach, here are more Sherlock questions to help you get clear on how to move forward.
Was this goal an ‘over-reach’? Goals that are an ‘over-reach’ are ones that are entirely too large to achieve in the time frame you set. If your answer to this is a “yes” then re-calibrate your goal to be a more realistic stretch for you.
Is there something else going on? Sometimes a goal is a must but the timing may not be right. There may be other extenuating circumstances at play, or other factors to be considered. If that’s the situation you find yourself in, the support of a coach can be invaluable to help you move forward.
Step 5: Bring all the insights together from the previous four steps to rewrite your goal and create an action plan. Be sure your action plan includes the relationships, practices, experiences and training you’ll need in 2019 to support the realization of this goal.
These five steps will soon put you back on track to taking inspired action towards achieving your goals in 2019!
