The Final Curtain
Hey, how’s it going? Come on in, make yourself at home. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be here, so let’s cut straight to the chase, shall We?

My name is Davyd and I’m dying. Technically, everybody is dying, there’s no way to get around that. I have been diagnosed with a fatal disease which is going to kill Me a little faster than most. Not only that, but I also get the added benefit of slowly turning into a stupid asshat in the process.
So consider this somewhat of a unique opportunity for most of My readers: you get to observe the gradual deterioration of the mind of someone whose IQ has been tested at a bit higher than Einstein’s. If you’ve ever read the book Flowers for Algernon, it’s going to be something like the last part of that book, except that I won’t be going back to a normal life with all of My old friends.
The name of the disease is hepatic encephalopathy (HE for short). It’s a liver disease that in My case was brought on by many years of daily drinking. I was too young to drink in college (I graduated college a few weeks after My nineteenth birthday) so I didn’t actually get into the heavy drinking stage until My mid- to late- twenties. As I’m in My early fifties now, it only took 25 years to drink Myself to dying.
I finally made the decision to stop drinking a few months back. It was before I was diagnosed with HE, but I guess it was just a matter of too far gone. I’m not a good candidate for a liver transplant for reasons I might talk about in the future, so that option is not open to Me.
My hepatologist (liver doctor) has prescribed a medication, which might ameliorate some of the symptoms, called rifaximin (trade name Xifaxan). I was just notified this morning that My insurance company (Molina) has agreed to pay for it and that’s good. It means I’ll be turning into a stupid asshat more slowly.
I’m not using that phrase loosely, either. Some of the symptoms of HE include:
- Mild confusion
- Poor judgement
- Inappropriate behaviour
- Not knowing where you are or where you are going
- Problems with or inability to do basic math
One of My degrees is in mathematics, so I find that last one to be particularly troubling.
I decided to start this blog for a few reasons.
First, it’s a form of self-therapy. Having a place I can write down My thoughts and feelings is helpful.
Second, I’d like to increase public awareness of this disease. I’d never heard of it before and I had no idea what it was all about. I still don’t, frankly. I’m still wrapping My head around it.
Third, as you might infer from the name of this series, I count Myself an atheist. So there’s no fantasy that after I die I’m going to see all of My dear departed loved ones again in some fuzzy celestial realm. It’s the end of the road, the last page of the book, the final curtain to this play. I’d like other people who don’t believe in a god to be able to draw some inspiration from Me telling My story.
So that’s the first part of My story. There will be more to follow, hopefully I’ll get some feedback or at least some people who read this. If not, oh well, I’m going to do it anyhow.
I’ve got the rest of My life.
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