Heartfelt Emotionalism is the New Hardcore
An excerpt from The People’s Scrum: Agile Ideas for Revolutionary Transformation by Tobias Mayer
I am often described as “touchy-feely” in my approach to teaching agile. This term is almost always used as an insult, and while I can take it with a pinch of salt, the fear and ignorance behind such a statement inevitably makes me sad. I find that too many people throw out that term to describe ways of human engagement they don’t really understand—and this seems to be especially true in the software world. It is a way of making light of a form of interaction that many software engineers and related folk find very difficult. Dismissing such interaction as “touchy-feely” or “soft” is a way of avoiding it. Quite simply, it is a cop-out.
Our industry harbors a perception that ordering people around, setting schedules, micro-directing, threatening people with demotion and termination and generally being fierce is a hardcore approach to management, while the approach of listening, trusting, fostering healthy dialog, promoting self-organization and resolving conflicts is considered soft. How topsy-turvy! It is surely the other way around.
Command-and-control management is fear-based management. The approach is all bluster and no courage. There is nothing “hard” about it; indeed its resulting ineffectiveness show it to be utterly flaccid and sadly impotent.
My colleague, the improv teacher and performer, Matt Smith, says about his improvisation exercises, “Nothing soft here; this is the hard stuff—this takes real courage.” Working successfully with people is immensely challenging and tough. This is not touchy-feely, this is heartfelt emotionalism. This is not soft-skills, this is hardcore.
The scrum mindset requires us to challenge every single assumption we have ever had about the way we do our work. If you find yourself using the term “touchy-feely” when things get uncomfortable, or describing human relationship-building as soft, please stop for a moment and reflect on your motives. Are you hiding? Are you embarrassed? Are you afraid? Be honest. Chances are that’s exactly what is happening. Reframe your statement, and begin to appreciate how warm, kind—even loving—personal relationships underlie all successful teamwork, and thus all successful product creation. Recognize that building such relationships takes immense courage.
Come on, get in touch with your heartfelt emotionalism—be hardcore!
June 14th, 2009
Excerpted from The People’s Scrum: Agile Ideas for Revolutionary Transformation by Tobias Mayer, published by Dymaxicon and available from Amazon. Mayer is an agile coach and consultant at Yahoo! Inc. He blogs at Business Craftsmanship.
