This is the Emergency Broadcast System. This is not a test.

I’m old enough to remember the EBS and I’m old enough to remember when Gary Hart’s candidacy for President was destroyed because of a single snapshot of him at a party on a yacht with a young model sitting on his knee. The yacht was named ‘Monkey Business’ and the story wrote itself.

I remember when no less an American hero as John Glenn’s candidacy for president was derailed because he’d slipped in the shower and hit his head and the opposition was able to gin this up to brain deficiency. John Glenn would have smoked Ronald Ray-Guns in 1984.

Quaint!

Today the CIA has confirmed what everyone knew all along: that our perennial and for-decades-now mortal enemy Russia successfully interfered in our electoral process with the express intent of having Donald Trump be our next president. And whaddya know, it worked! Donald Trump will be our minority president. And everyone is like “ehhh, the Russians intervened. That’s what they do. What are we supposed to do about it? So what.”

Also today? The Russians were discovered moving a new generation of nuclear missiles to Eastern Europe, and pointing them West.

This is the Emergency Broadcast System. This is not a test.