blog 6

1. original paragraph from Draft 1

When I was growing up my mother always had music playing and as a result it was a big part of my childhood and is still a huge part of my life. I listen to all kinds of music and can not think of something that brightens my day the ay the opening sounds of a known tune do.

2. revised version of that paragraph practicing what Harris suggests in the “Revising” chapter.

When I was growing up my mother always had music playing. As a result the music that always flowed through the house was a big part of my childhood, and is still a huge part of my life. I listen to all kinds of music (from old school country to rap and metal) and can not think of something that brightens my day the ay the opening sounds of a known track do. One specific song I remember loving is “Two Pina Coladas”. I made my own version of that song when I was particularly in love with Ritz crackers, singing about how I had one for each hand. Given that I was probably around the age of four, this song is still brought up by my mother when she drags out the pictures.

3. Roughly 150-word reflection on that revision
Some of the methods that harris offers for revisions are

• Add to
• Delete
• move (cut and paste)
• Rework (select and type over)
• Reformat a text you are working on

Given that this paragraph is a part of my hook I wanted it to tell a story that would draw in readers to the subject of my paper. I feel that when I was writing this originally I knew it was missing something and more detail needed to be expanded. I also moved a few things around, rewording some of the things i said to make more sense.