Research Paper Revision Paragraph

The week before finals, a great friend of mine from my floor, took his own life in the woods behind our building. To put it bluntly, my dear friend decided it was easier to use a gun to end his darkness instead of seeking additional help. Although many believe that people that are suicidal or depressed are easily spotted since the stereotype is a pessimistic, underachiever who doesn’t care about anything and is always walking around with their head down. When on the contrary, it is usually someone who is very good at hiding their true feelings. For instance, my friend was always the most cheerful and positive person, even though he was double majoring in pre-med and music, two of the hardest majors, he never broke a sweat. So when we received the news that he was in the hospital fighting for his life, we were all shocked and brokenhearted to eventually receive the news that our dear friend was gone. While I can never truly understand what was going through my friends mind or how he went about what he did, I can to the best of my ability, try to empathize and educate myself on the difficulties that arise while in this dark place and who to turn to when in need.

During the stressful week before finals, a friend that became really close to my on my floor, took his own life in the forest area behind our residence hall. To put it bluntly, my dear friend decided it was easier to use a gun to end his darkness instead of seeking additional help. Although many believe that individuals who are suicidal or depressed, fit the role of the stereotype, constantly being gloomy and not caring about anyone or anything around them. When on the contrary, it is actually someone who is very good at putting on a brave face while their fear and true feelings hide within. For instance, my friend was always walking around with a beaming smile on his face and having positivity as his mantra. Even though he was a double major in pre-med and music, two of the hardest majors in college, he never broke a sweat but worked diligently to maintain his excellent grades. So when we were told that our friend was found and now fighting for his life in the hospital, we all felt a gut wrenching pain when we received the news that our dear friend was gone. While I can never truly understand the thoughts that were scrambling through my friends mind in the last moments of his life or why he chose to leave this way, I can do the best of my ability to try and emphasize and educate myself on the difficulties that arise while in this dark place that so many people experience.

In my opinion, revising essays always seemed ridiculous to me but essentially very necessary. After going over Harris’s view on how to revise and not essay the text, I found that it was a lot easier to sound like myself and not trying to sound like a stiffy professor who is conducting research. In my revision, I found my mistakes and ways to improve the writing to make it sound more meaningful but to also keep true to myself and my writing style. I focused my revisions mainly on the questions that Harris proposes. Since this is one of my introduction paragraphs, the main question that I focused on was “What’s your project?” I want the readers to understand what lit a fire under me to write an essay on such a heavy topic, especially to me. By doing this, it allowed me to “come to terms” with the idea that will be forwarding this essay.