Revising — Blog Post #6

About four years ago, during my freshman year of high school, my best friend was being bullied because of a selfie she posted on Instagram. Our peers were whispering how her “eyes looked huge” and that she looked like she “gained a few pounds”. Not only were these rumors spread in person, but they were also posted on social media websites. Ever since those rumors were spread around, my friend has never felt confident about her appearance. Some of these insults are still on the Internet today. This is one of the many examples that show the harmful effects of social media on someone’s self-esteem. Not only was my friend effected by it four years ago, it continues to affect her today. Social media has a powerful effect on people in both positive and negative ways. Recently, more people are realizing the effect social media has on self-esteems and the dangers of it.

During my freshman year of high school, posting selfies on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook became a popular thing to do. My best friend was one of those people who posted the ocassional selfie and one day she was getting bullied because of it. Our peers were whispering and gossiping how her “eyes looked huge”. They were also saying how they thought she “gained a few pounds.” These rumors were not only spread in person, but they were also posted on several social media websites. Ever since these insults were spread around, she has never felt the same way about herself. She is less confident and has a lower self-esteem. Some of these insults about her can still be found on some accounts. This is one of the many examples of the harmful effects of social media. Social media has a powerful effect on people; most of the time, they can be negative and hurtful. However, there are also ways that social media can have a positive mindset on people.

In revising this paragraph, I read the original paragraph out loud and tried to think what needs to be better explained or re-written. I have never revised a whole paragraph on itself, I normally just revise a whole paper. Revising a paragraph helped me understand more of what I need to explain to the readers that I did not think I had to before. I think the second paragraph is explained better and makes more sense. It allows the readers to understand the anecdote better and allow them to be involved in the story. The story brings people into the research paper and gets them interested in the research paper.