Japanese cannot state their names nor talk about themselves?

Cultural background of Japanese people’s identity

photo from O-DAN

Recently I noticed something that happens to Japanese people sometimes.

I was talking with an ex-colleague I used to work with in Japan after 3 years recently.

She has lived in the US for over 10 years and is now working in Japan.

So, we both experienced living overseas, and sometimes feel there are many things that are very specific to Japan.

We were very sympathetic to such a topic, and it could be some tips for non-Japanese people to communicate and understand the culture well.

There are mainly three topics, and I will give example stories for each scenario.

1. Guess the subject as Japanese people don’t proactively state their names

2. Fake names in social media

3. Some housewives are happy to talk about their kids rather than themselves

1. Guess the subject as Japanese people don’t proactively state their names

photo from O-DAN

If you try to learn Japanese, you might notice that the subject is missing in the sentences.

Japanese is such a language that suddenly starts a sentence without a subject.

For example, if saying “I went to a park yesterday”, Japanese sentences start with words like “yesterday” or “a park”.

Also when in the business scene, people don’t say their name first but say company or organization name, sometimes they even say “I’m just a part-timer/ temporary worker.”

So, sometimes during the business scene especially overseas, we might need to identify the subject like verifying the person or approver.

However, since our culture is like this, we sometimes need to ask again and again to finally find out the person’s name.

I also experienced a call at work from a Japanese woman on behalf of her husband, and she said her husband’s name and never said her name.

If the woman says “ I’m calling on behalf of my husband” or something like that, I can easily recognize the situation, but she never says such a thing.

So it is good to guess what or who is the subject in the sentences when communicating with Japanese people.

As I have worked overseas, I am sometimes confused about who is in the main role, however, it can be more humble or less arrogant depending on the scene in Japan.

Probably we are too used not saying the name, and become like Ninja sometimes;

However, it is the opposite outside of Japan, and people are not used to finding Ninja, so Japanese should proactively clarify their identity and start sentences with “I “ consciously.

2. Fake names in social media

photo from O-DAN

Because Japanese people lived in villages in the past, we care about fame in the company or organization.

So, people use fake names on social media like Twitter or Facebook because they are afraid their activities can be visible to their colleagues or bosses.

Many Japanese people, especially company workers tend to hide their real names and use fake names.

I have seen a Japanese guy using the fake name “Wada Akiko, “ a famous Japanese female singer.

He was obviously a guy but used her name on purpose not to use his real name, he might’ve had a special reason to do that.

So, as a Japanese person, I advise people outside of Japan not to be surprised if a Japanese person uses funny names on social media or platforms to log in with nicknames.

They are not always being silly, but care how they are seen from the outside, especially by those who already know them in real life.

3. Some housewives are happy to talk about their kids rather than themselves

photo from O-DAN

As we get older, we sometimes stop contact with old classmates or friends who live in our hometown.

It is very natural as everyone has different lifestyles.

It is sometimes hard to find the same topic if one is single and working, and the other is a housewife and not working.

I believed that it depends on the status of being single or married, however, I noticed that I still keep in touch with some friends who have kids.

I and my friend noticed that we are good at talking to married women who talk about themselves but sometimes don’t have as many things to talk about with married women who always talk about their kids.

We understand how kids are cute, and there are so many things to share, however, we are curious about the person herself because we are used to individual-based culture overseas.

I felt something similar to the woman who states her husband’s name in the previous topic, and I believe this is due to our culture to make organizations very important rather than individuals.

So, if you meet someone from Japan who always talks about their family, please don’t get annoyed, because we have such a culture and housewives put their children as their top priority.

Now it is slowly changing so that women do not always have to take care of kids, however, they are happy to talk about that instead of talking about themselves.