The Importance Of Life’s “Center”
Recently, I was the victim of one of life’s conspiracies to teach me a lesson. And although I had heard others talk about that lesson before, I had never fully realized its value and wisdom until life shoved it in my face.
And that lesson was the importance of finding a “center” in my life.
By “center” I mean something that one would love to be associated with in whatever way they can. It can be the people in one’s life, the work they do, an activity they like to engage in, or even something as abstract as a thought. The key thing is that nothing about the “center” feels like an inconvenience; just the mere thought of it should be able to bring one immediate calm and happiness.
For example: If, for me, it is watching my favorite band play live, then I wouldn’t mind driving a hundred miles to see them. At 4 in the morning. On a cold winter morning. With nothing to eat. Even if my car breaks down on the way, which causes me to miss all but the last 15 minutes of the performance, I would still be happy that I at least got to see the part I did. A bit on the nose, but I think you get the picture. 🙂
Now let me share why I think having such a “center” is important. So far, I see three ways in which it can help me:
First of all, it can help in dealing with life’s little “inconveniences” — everyday things that we have to deal with, even though we’d rather not, like rowdy neighbors, nosey relatives, office politics, jealous frenemies, etc. All of these are indicative of some positive thing in our life (being part of a society, having people we can call family, having a paying job, being successful, etc.). But still, most of us would consider them as negatives, as “annoyances”.
Even something as simple as owning a car is not without its own issues, in terms of the constant maintenance required for it. And I’m not even talking about fuel and insurance and regular servicing. I’m referring to issues like tire punctures, a dead battery, broken windshield, fender benders, etc. — issues I shouldn’t have to face ideally, but that I, almost definitely, will.
And before you say anything, I know owning a car would be considered a “luxury” by the majority of the people in the world, and me complaining about it must sound like such a first-world-problem, but to those who do own a car and maintain it themselves: it is true, isn’t it? 🙂
Anyway, the point is there are indeed no free lunches in life. If life were a restaurant, you would be billed for even setting foot inside the establishment.
In such cases, having a “center” in life can be very helpful, especially for those who find these annoyances to be too much, who feel that their quality of life is negatively affected because of them on a regular basis. If such individuals can identify their “center” and find ways to restructure their life around it, I think they can rise above all these issues, and will find the peace of mind they seek.
With the focus on the “center”, and the resulting joy derived from it, life’s other little inconveniences would pale in comparison, to the point of inconsequentiality.
Secondly, the “center” can also be a good guiding star for when we are at various crossroads in life — when making any move in any direction would profoundly change the life that we’ll have from that point onwards. In such cases, it could help us make choices keeping in mind the things that are truly important to us.
For example: I might be getting very good money for a job in another country, but if my “center” is my family, then taking a job away from the family in a different country, doesn’t make much sense, does it? Taking that job will not only leave me more vulnerable to the small annoyances that I mentioned earlier, but also add to them, because now, I’ll also be missing my family terribly.
There’s a very good commencement speech by Neil Gaiman, famous author and screenwriter, which I highly recommend (you can watch it on YouTube, or read a brief summary of it that I did sometime back). One of the advices he gives to the young students is along similar lines:
“Something that worked for me was imagining that where I wanted to be — an author, primarily of fiction, making good books, making good comics and supporting myself through my words — was a mountain. A distant mountain. My goal.
And I knew that as long as I kept walking towards the mountain I would be all right. And when I truly was not sure what to do, I could stop, and think about whether it was taking me towards or away from the mountain. I said no to editorial jobs on magazines, proper jobs that would have paid proper money because I knew that, attractive though they were, for me they would have been walking away from the mountain.”
Lastly, a “center” can give purpose and meaning to life. It can help us do and achieve things that we never could’ve imagined were possible in our capacity.
For example: If my “center” is the work that I do, it can help me become better and better at it, ultimately making me very successful in my field. Even if it is just a thought, when properly cultivated, it can drive me to affect real change in the world. After all, we are here today and see the world that we see, only because so many people had a thought that was their life’s “center”.
If you’ve read so far, you might’ve noticed a couple of things:
– The above three points are somewhat interlinked. You might be thinking that I’m trying to milk my one point three different ways, but that’s not intentional. Actually, I came across these three thoughts at separate points in my life, and only recently realized that they all tie in together into this concept of the “center”, and how central that is to all three (sorry, I just couldn’t resist the pun! 🙂
– I talk about the importance of the “center”, but not about how to find one. That’s because I don’t know how. Yet. I’m still trying to figure out my own “center”. If and when I have a theory on how to go about the process, and how well that works out for me, I’ll definitely share the same with you.
If you’ve found your “center”, congratulations! I’m so jealous of you! I would love to hear how you discovered it, and what kind of impact it has had on your life. Or any other thoughts you might have on the topic.
