Holiday

Thanks to human nature, the potential for conflict and dissatisfaction is an alternative response to holidays

Spanish: vacaciones, fiesta
Italian: vacanza, vacanza
French: vacances, vacances
Dutch: vakantie, vakantie
Portuguese: período de férias, feriado
German: ferien, urlaub
Latin: vacation, holiday

Seven billion plus humans on our planet share so much in common physically and psychologically that it’s the differences we tend to focus on. From facial features to personality, we are individuals. But we are also social, communal beings, and what perhaps defines us most is…language — language first and foremost and then nationality/heritage. Long before the nation-state existed as a concept, language was cultural identity. Even though languages differ in the words used to say the same things, they share the same purposes: communication, sharing, details, humor and so on.

As I write this it’s the holiday season, which seems obvious given the month and date of this post. We, meaning residents of this country, refer to certain days during the year when we stay home from school and/or work as holidays. On some of these holidays, government facilities, financial institutions and perhaps even stores will be closed, but this is limited to specific national and/or state holidays. Many holidays are deemed less important, with banks and stores open for business. But in other cultures the term holiday includes phrases such as “going on holiday” or “on holiday” — what we refer to as vacation.

If you research the terms vacation and holiday in different languages — such as the examples I’ve provided above, in many cases they are the same. These usage differences can lead to confusion. In Europe, for example, where English is often a second language, the conclusion of a purchase transaction in a shop can include the salesperson telling you to enjoy your holiday. They mean, of course, your vacation, whereas you might be wondering what holiday he or she is referring to.

Either way, “holiday” would seem to be positive, something to look forward to, to enjoy, to celebrate. And yet, thanks to human nature, the potential for conflict and dissatisfaction is an alternative response. Not everyone recognizes, appreciates and participates in every holiday, for many reasons. Indeed, the concept of holidays in general and their importance in hierarchy (who or what gets celebrated and why) are not universally agreed upon. Many holidays are typically ignored by businesses, which consider seven or eight paid days off per year sufficiently generous, with perhaps one or two floating holidays thrown in.

Participation in holidays is not necessarily a cultural requirement. Those who feel a connection or need to do so often represent a modest percentage of citizens. There are a few holidays that rank at the very top and represent widely accepted cultural traditions. July 4th, for example, is about parades, picnics and fireworks. One doesn’t have to be particularly patriotic to enjoy two out of three of these.

At least it’s not one of the religious holidays, which create their own special issues. Neither is Thanksgiving, although some attempt to make it more religious — well, Christian — than simply being thankful for prosperity (itself a source of political disagreement). What sets Thanksgiving apart (along with Christmas and a few others) is the family aspect. All of the joys and dysfunctions of family are present on a day when eating, drinking and being in the same house for hours are the focus. A lot of joy but also stress can be mixed together in varying amounts.

There are two major religious holidays, but here things become mixed in ways not common to other holidays. Easter, always on a Sunday that varies with the phases of the moon (which should tell us something about mysticism and religion), is either revered by the religious — and those only religious on Easter and Christmas — or observed simply as a reason for families to get dressed up (maybe) and eat ham. Sorry, as a pragmatist I don’t see much difference between Easter and a pagan-originated holiday, Halloween, which has far more going for it. Easter egg hunts, chocolate bunnies and marshmallow peeps are competing with costumes, drinking and candy.

The other religious holiday, Christmas, has become a concoction of cultural conflict that pits religion against secularism during a “holiday season” that now extends from prior to Halloweens to New Year’s day. With a quarter of the population having no religious interest at all, and a variety of religious beliefs among the remainder, Christmas has become as much a social holiday as religious. This should not be a source of conflict, but the conservative minded are furious about a (fictitious) “war on Christmas” and angry that “happy holidays” has become the replacement for “merry Christmas” for many. Tradition meets diversity, and human nature does the rest.

Christmas brings out the best and worst of what occurs when socio-cultural change happens. For me, Christmas is like Halloween in that the origins no longer matter. I’m no more interested in pagans than I am in the manger (technically, a structure used to hold food to feed animals). I recently read that even A Charlie Brown Christmas, which is admittedly more toward the traditional side but nicely nostalgic, is now yet another cultural conflict. I enjoy it despite the included mythology. The real values of the holiday, from giving and receiving to decorations and music, are social. Its religious origins and purpose remain available to those who seek these, but it’s not a national holiday just for Christians — either here or elsewhere.

I might note that the other form of holiday, vacations, represents its own kind of pleasures and risks. Many a relationship has been tested and sometimes destroyed by going away together…for a weekend or a week. My wife and I have had many wonderful holidays together, be they a weekend or three plus weeks. I consider it validation of our compatibility. But the stories — written, on stage, in film — of the opposite are legendary and cautionary. “Getting away from it all” can actually condense and thus exacerbate what makes some relationships tenuous and unhappy. I have long posited that a holiday or two early in a relationship can be the equivalent of seeing into the future.

It’s quite reasonable to me that in some languages the terms for vacation and holiday are the same. Both represent a break from the everyday routine of life, both can be fun, relaxing and memorable. And that last one is important. Over years of holidays of both kinds, many memories are created, and they become part of us — who we are and what we hold dear. Those who were with us then may still be with us, but many may also no longer be in our lives for numerous reasons. So memories of holidays can sometimes also represent loss. We survive and carry on, for better or worse. How we choose our holidays and how we remember them are up to us. Just as it should be.