Burning Out and Stepping Down
The challenges of life and years of toiling as an ecosystem builder take their toll.
Ecosystem building is challenging on many levels. As ecosystem builders, we’re essentially trying to change an entrenched system and grow a community. Many of us do this while also trying to run a sustainable business — to make enough money to eat and put a roof over our heads. The constant struggle against the old power in the community, the constant pressure to keep trying to do more — go to more meetings, go to more events, put on more programs, respond to more emails, all with fewer and fewer resources — is exhausting, draining, and leads to burnout. I’ve experienced this firsthand.
I’m not the first ecosystem builder to burnout and I certainly won’t be the last. Fortunately, burnout is a topic now receiving needed attention. I’d like to share some reflections on it, in the hope that others may be able to take steps to avoid it.
Burnout started hitting me in 2018. That’s when the beatdown at the local level of ecosystem building really began to take its toll. This was a year of beatdowns. We applied for 5 grants and went 0 for 5. Sponsorships that seemed promising never emerged. We lost RFPs. Despite high praise and lip service from city leaders and economic developers, they offered no financial support. The initial energy from launching a little ecosystem building non-profit hit harsh reality head on.
At the field level, I attended the Kauffman Foundation’s ESHIP Summit in 2018 and came away frustrated and annoyed with so many of the mayors and economic development professionals in attendance who dominated the conversation and drowned out the challenges of the small, scrappy non-profits. Fueled by that anger and frustration, I threw my energy into trying to help grow and professionalize the field of ecosystem building and represent the little scrappy ecosystem building organizations out there. I met a lot of great people doing this and learned a ton. But in the end, that project sapped more energy out of me than it provided. Furthermore, the “Give First/Give Before You Get” mantra so prevalent in our field started to feel like being taken advantage of.
Additionally, despite uncovering and writing a plethora of great content to share with the field, much of that will likely never published and shared due to forces outside my control. It’s frustrating and demoralizing to see it wasted by not being shared with the community. It’s been another factor contributing to my burnout.
“If I’ve learned anything from the terrible things that have happened the last few years it’s the value of time and to make sure you’re spending your time the way you want to spend it.” ~ Geddy Lee, Rush: Full Interview | House of Strombo
The problem with operating at your limits for an extended period is that it doesn’t take much to break you. And, when life throws some serious shit at you, as life tends to do, you have no reserves. Something has to give.
Humans can be pretty resilient and maybe I could have persevered for another year or two had it not been for a new challenge in life. In February 2021 my wife was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease (PD). Ultimately, this broke me. The stress of being president of a non-profit and trying to impact the field of ecosystem building was already on the verge of breaking me. This new challenge just piled on a heap of new additional stress on top of that and took a toll on both my physical and mental health.
2021 became for me a year of re-evaluation of life and reprioritizing. The energy and passion to lead (or attempt to), at the local level, and the field level, were gone. Something had to change. In December 2021 I made the difficult decision that I needed to resign and focus on what’s most important to me.
And so, as of the end of April 2022, I have resigned my role as President of StartupSac and retired as a local ecosystem builder. I’ve also found the need to retreat significantly from involvement at the field level — only staying minimally engaged with EBLP and doing the bare minimum to keep Ecosystem Builder Hub going (for now).
What next? My main priority is to support my wife in her challenge to adapt to living with the progressively debilitating disease that is PD. Aside from that, it’s time to recover, reflect, and hopefully reenergize.
I’ve been in the meat grinder of ecosystem building for awhile now — at both the local level and field level. I’ve read and researched a ton. I’ve worked with and interviewed great ecosystem builders and learned from them.
But I have a lot of frustration, pain, and frankly anger entwined with ecosystem building. So, I need some distance from it. Ecosystem building has been where I’ve poured my time and energy for years now. Who knows, maybe with some time off from it, like a phoenix from the ashes, a renewed energy and interest will rise and I’ll dabble with it more. I feel like I still have perspectives that I can share with the field — from experience on the ground as well as the research and interviews I’ve done. I still feel a need to contribute to society, so hopefully I can recover and do something more in time.
On that note, here’s one piece of advice I’ll offer to other ecosystem builders now — slow down and don’t try to do so much so fast. Brad Feld is often quoted for his advice to take a 20 year perspective in ecosystem building. Ecosystem builders need to take that to heart. You can’t do it all. You can’t do anything if you burn out.
I recently watched a video talk from The Long Now Foundation, How to Be a Long Term Thinker in a Short Term World, that included a salient addition to Feld’s tip. “It is not your responsibility to finish the work of perfecting the world, but you are not free to desist from it either.” My advice to other ecosystem builders is to lay off the gas and slow down. Resist the societal pressure of constantly being busy. Say no to a few Zoom meetings each week. Schedule in a few hours each week to take care of your own self.
You can do a lot in a lifetime
If you don’t burn out too fast
You can make the most of the distance
First you need endurance
First you’ve got to last
~ Neil Peart/Rush, “Marathon”
If we take the perspective that ecosystem building is an infinite game that we don’t have to complete, then maybe we can relax, lighten up, and slow down so that we don’t completely exhaust ourselves and so are able to continue the work. Take care of yourselves.
