Do Men Feel Guilty About Hiring a Prostitute?

Yes, and it makes my life as an escort more difficult.

Mysterious Witt
Nov 3 · Unlisted
Photo by Du Waal Engelbrecht on Unsplash

en feel guilty about paying for sex, for understandable reasons. Our society is not kind to sex workers. There’s not only a lot of stigma surrounding having sex for money but also in paying for it.

Men who see escorts sometimes wonder what it says about them. Are they a “bad” person? Are they immoral? Does this mean they’re insecure? Are they actually a pathetic loser?

I say no.

But still men feel guilty to the point that they’re “sinning.” They may feel guilty about cheating on their significant others.

I think men should absolve themselves of guilt.

My “perfect” client feels no guilt.

My “perfect” client is comfortable with the fact he pays for sex. Just like I’ve made peace with the fact I sell sex for a living, this man’s made peace with the fact he buys it.

Therefore he feels no shame, guilt, or embarrassment in paying me for sex.

He doesn’t project his shame or embarrassment about his desires onto me. He doesn’t deny that he desperately wants me to satisfy those desires. He doesn’t take out his resentment on me.

When men do that, they also typically do a whole host of other stupid things— at least in relation to me.

The “bad” client wastes my time because of his guilt.

The type of client whom I call the “bad” client wastes my time. He constantly contacts me “just to talk,” without offering monetary gifts to cover my time.

He gets in the way of my vetting process because he’s afraid I’ll expose him somehow. Like I’ll put a picture of him with his real name on my Twitter. Or I’ll write something on his Facebook wall about how he wants to have sex with me for money. Or, I don’t know, I’ll call his wife?

I have zero interest in doing any of that.

This is my business. I want a man’s money. Exposing him doesn’t get me that.

Besides, I don’t have any sick need to embarrass my clients. I don’t think they should feel embarrassed anyway. I don’t think what they’re asking me to do with them is bad.

When a “bad” client does finally consent to letting me vet him, I go through the whole process, only to have him cancel on me at the last minute.

Often he sends long emails, telling me how badly he feels, not about how he canceled on me, but about his wanting to see a provider like myself.

I’m supposed to then waste my time reading these emails for free and even write him back in an attempt to make him feel better.

Maybe I’ll even absolve him of his guilt by admitting that what I do is bad.

Or I’ll try to convince him that he’s wrong and that he should utilize my services.

No thanks.

But this still doesn’t stop a “bad” client from waiting just a week before calling me again, wherein he’ll claim that he’s now realized he desperately needs to see me but only if I’ll lower my rate.

He argues how I should do this for him because he’s “special.”

For this reason, I should not only lower my rate to a small percentage of what I usually charge, but also let him spend the whole weekend with me, because he’s actually decided he’s fallen in love with me.

You see where I’m going with this.

The “perfect” client never plays such games.

The “perfect” client follows my rules.

He makes one phone call, usually sends a small monetary gift for my time, easily complies with my requirements to see his LinkedIn account — so I know he’s who he says he is and also so I can ascertain he isn’t a cop.

He also readily gives me two professional references, who can vouch for his professionalism and character.

These other providers, of course, always vouch for his professionalism and character because he’s a stellar individual.

Oh, and he never tries to negotiate my rate. He sends a list of suggested sexual preferences but doesn’t demand I follow them to the letter.

In other words, he doesn’t treat me like I’m a puppet whose strings he can pull whenever he wants.

He respects my humanity, my time and my financial requirements.

My “perfect” client is typically older, quite well-off, distinguished and successful in life in general. He’s a discerning gentleman who’s been married for a while and wants to stay that way.

He’s simply unsatisfied in his present arrangement. He wants more, and doesn’t feel badly about that.

He knows that I can provide that “more” in his life. I’ll provide the hot, kinky sex that he no longer gets from his wife.

Maybe he never got that kind of sex from his wife.

Well, he’ll get it from me. He just has to not waste my time, comply with my vetting requirements, show up on time, pay my rate, behave himself while we’re together, and then leave when he’s supposed to.

Easy-peasy.

When I session with this “perfect” client, all is well both of our worlds.

Men should not feel badly about paying for sex.

On the other hand, the client who feels guilty is usually younger and less experienced in seeing escorts as he is in life in general.

He feels badly about paying a sex worker even though he desperately wants what we offer.

Because he feels badly about it, he plays all sorts of games to try to get me to offer my time, expertise and services for free.

I refuse to do that. It’s a no-win for all.

I don’t think men should feel badly about wanting pleasure from a provider. I don’t think they should be feel insecure, or like they’re “losers,” or that they’re less manly for paying for sex.

I think they should feel badly for playing games with providers. It’s a business that gives them a lot of pleasure so they should really treat providers better.

If there existed more social openness about seeing an escort like myself, then I would have to deal with “bad” clients much less regularly.

If my services were treated more like those of a therapist ’s — a sexual therapist who provides sexual healing — men would feel less guilt and all our lives would be better.

Ecstatic Cling

A Sex Worker’s Guide to the Universe

Unlisted

Mysterious Witt

Written by

A sex worker’s guide to the universe.

Ecstatic Cling

A Sex Worker’s Guide to the Universe

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