I wish my partner posted on social media more often about me

Ron Responds #5

QI wish my partner posted on social media more often about me. I keep seeing posts of other people flaunting their love and I feel jealous. I don’t feel threatened or anything, and don’t *actually* think it’s that important, but damn it would sure be nice. I’ve tried to tell him but it’s not something he cares much about. What should I do?
— Anonymous

ASocial media has become a big part of how we validate ourselves and whether we’re “successful”. We see the best versions of our peer’s lives — curated images and messages that seem to document those around us, but in reality, are simply marketing them. I scoff when people talk about “personal brands”, but at this point we all have online personas and they affect how people outside of our inner circles view us.

Honestly, I don’t think these feelings are silly and I think they’re quite common. It’s completely valid to see certain things in other relationships and want the same for your own — but is it the posting about the relationship that you’d like to see more frequently, or is it the contents of said posts? Do you want your partner’s feed filled with pictures of you, or would you simply appreciate to have your partner publicly say how much they like you?

Feeling acknowledged within a relationship is a huge part of feeling secure. Feeling secure is the basis for having a healthy relationship. Do you feel acknowledged by your partner outside of this issue? If you don’t, that might be the underlying problem that is causing you to feel insecure. Can you articulate why, to you, public acknowledgement is important? Spending some time considering these questions might help you to communicate with your partner and understand why you feel this way.

Your partner might prefer privacy when it comes to their relationships, and that’s fair. I think you can, however, open up a dialog with them after reflecting on why, exactly, it is that you feel this way.

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