I’m non-binary, when should I reveal my gender identity to new people?

Ron Responds #10

QAs a fellow enby, I wonder about revealing that to new people. How do you know when to tell people who don’t know?

— Jason

ARevealing your gender identity can be a tricky thing to balance, and honestly, I struggle with this myself. You need to ask yourself “what’s going to make me feel the safest” in any given situation.

For example, I make sure that my friends and family (the people who are consistently in my life) are aware and acknowledge my gender identity. Sure, not all of them understand it, but simply acknowledging it can lead to understanding. In the case that I think my interactions with a person will be fleeting — I’ll avoid bringing it up unless I feel very secure and safe.

There’s been times where I’ve been wrong about the depth of my relationship with a person, in which case I have to have an awkward coming out conversation with them. Generally, at this point, I trust them and they know me as a human being, and it’s fine.

To summarize, this is really different for every person. If you feel safe and comfortable, you should feel empowered revealing your gender identity to those around you. If you don’t feel safe, you should not feel guilty choosing not to. As cliché as it sounds, go with your gut.

All the best,

Ron

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