Recovering Addicts Find Their Home in the Underground Music Scene
Writer’s Note: This story was written using Hearken, where people from the DIY and underground music community submit questions and topics for me to cover. I was asked to investigate the relationship between straight edge and recovery in the scene.
A dark room, blaring guitars and sweaty crowds. All abandon is left in the mosh pit and people are screaming lyrics until their throats are raw. This doesn’t sound anything close to therapy — but for some people, this a start on the road to recovery.
The underground music scene has played in integral part in maintaining sobriety, despite the looming temptation and appeal of the worn-out slogan, ‘sex, drugs and Rock’n’roll’. People who attend these local shows are people who find relief from the difficulties they have experienced. That’s why the scene has also been a source of support for recovering drug addicts, even from people who are straight edge or people who avoid drugs, alcohol and other things that are considered unhealthy. For some, the discovery of underground music was nothing short of life changing.
“Ultimately, I felt like the value and relief I was getting from the music far exceeded the challenge of being there,” said Lisa DeAntonio, 29, of Delco County Pennsylvania.
By 19, partying with weed and alcohol became an addiction to narcotics and eventually, heroin. After being charged with drug possession, she was put on probation and sought care from numerous inpatient and outpatient facilities.
During the last year of her probation, DeAntonio was homeless in Kensington, a neighborhood in Philadelphia, where she lived in abandoned houses. She turned to drugs to quell the pain of living on the streets.
“Everything at that point was about staying well and keeping from getting dope sick,” DeAntonio explained. “Everything revolved around using and getting the next one.”
After realizing it was difficult to quit on her own and the consequences of being in and out of jails and institutions, DeAntonio decided to seek rehabilitation. She has been clean since 2012 and continues to participate in Narcotics Anonymous. DeAntonio is now an admissions supervisor at Malvern Institute where she works with recovering addicts.
Her boyfriend of one year has always been straight edge and explained their similarities.
“Our principals are very similar,” she said. “Not going with the grain or not letting anyone influence him.”
Settings where drugs and alcohol are present have the potential to enable use. For those who find support in the music scene, the dichotomy can be tough to navigate.
“At the clinic, a lot of times people have to cut ties with people who are going to be using. When it’s a part of the lifestyle you’ve been brought up with, it’s very hard to pick up and move out. It might be discovering those supports for the first time,” explained Mike Lake, who works in admissions at a methadone clinic in Jersey City.
At the same time, people in the scene have also experienced the kind of support necessary for recovery.
“As far as hard drugs or whatever, if people said, ‘hey do you want to do a bump of coke’ or something like that, I decline and I’ve never once got a bad response for that,” said Steve Cincunegui, 30, of Philadelphia. “I’ll straight up tell them, ‘hey, I’m in recovery’. I’ve got no shame in it. And they’re like, ‘ oh that’s cool, I respect you for that. That’s awesome.’”
Similar to DeAntonio, Cincunegui started using drugs in his late teens. His friends introduced Percocet as a way to get high after surgery. Eventually, Cincunegui’s addiction graduated to heroin and he turned to a life of crime to support getting high. He got involved in petty stealing and eventually started breaking into houses and cars and to his regret, stealing from friends and family. One robbery went wrong and he was incarcerated.
“I [went through withdrawal] in jail cold turkey, which was a nightmare,” Cincunegui said. “I think that helped me a lot too because I never wanted to experience that again.”
Cincunegui went through incarceration with limited moral support from family and without the help of medication to ease his extreme flu-like symptoms. But he’s not alone. In the U.S, 50 percent of jail and prison inmates are clinically addicted, according to the National Association of Drug Court Professionals.
Cincunegui was released after 2.5years on good behavior because he completed requests for treatment. That’s when he heard about the scene through a friend he met at a halfway house in Delaware. For him, the scene has proven to be a solid resource in maintaining recovery.
“Later on down the line, if those people who once offered me alcohol or drugs …are around other people who offer me alcohol or drugs, they’ll step in and they’ll be like, ‘no he’s good.’ They speak for me,” he said.
The inclusion has some limits, despite the integration that happens in the music scene. Tom Smith, guitarist for Phantom Pain and the Acacia Strain explains the way straight edge people may feel pushed to the fringes of the scene.
“I was still invited to every party my friends went to. If you let it bother you, that’s when you get ostracized and shut out from everything,” said Smith. Smith wasn’t always straight edge and experimented with drugs in high school for social reasons. He decided to stop when he saw that his friends were developing serious drug habits.
“I think I made the decision to be straight edge because I still wanted to be their friends and still try to support them through everything but not be associated with the stuff that they do,” Smith said.
Smith’s father struggled with alcoholism when he was younger. Now 18 years sober, Smith understands that recovery starts with the person’s desire to get better.
“Most people think I should have stopped hanging out with them but when you’re friends with someone since kindergarten you kind of just deal with it. I don’t want to abandon them in the middle of that,” Smith said.
When it comes to touring or playing shows, Smith also doesn’t have a hard time with saying no when offered drugs or alcohol. Like recovering addicts, Smith doesn’t want being straight edge to be the characteristic that defines him.
Despite the difficulties of drugs and alcohol being present in the scene, both straight edge and recovering addicts have the room to make the scene fit their needs. Ultimately, the underground music scene is comprised of people with different backgrounds and experiences. While challenges may be present, the scene will continue to thrive with these differences as long as music is the common denominator.
