Back to here!
Me: I’d like to open this link please.
Phone: Sure, which application would you like to use? There’s the mobile web browser you choose absolutely every single time, but there’s also your password manager, got some social media apps here . . .
Me: Uh, yeah, I’d like to use the mobile web browser again.
Phone: Just this time, or Always?
Me: Didn’t I select “Always” last time?
Phone: Yep.
Me: And yet you’re still asking me again?
Phone: Also yes.
Me: Well then I guess it doesn’t matter.
Phone: Okie doke, here’s your web page.
Me: It’s blank.
Phone: I know, it’s cool, just hang on a second . . . there you go.
Me: It loaded everything except the actual content.
Phone: Yeah! Just keep waiting!
Me: Okay, there we go. I’d like to scroll down now.
Phone: Uhhhh, scrolling down . . . you sure you don’t just want to look at this stuff at the top?
Me: No, phone, that’s the most useless part!
Phone: Okay, here, we’ll scroll down a little.
Me: Now this part is blank.
Phone: Yeah, because you have to WAIT, dude.
Me: Fine, okay, now I can at least see a little of the article.
Phone: BACK TO THE TOP!
Me: What? Why?!
Phone: Eh, I don’t know, maybe try it again.
Me: Okay, I’d like to scroll down.
Phone: And here’s the first couple of lines
Me: Alright, here we g . . .
Phone: POP UP AD!
Me: Oh good, I didn’t know phones could time travel to 1998, when pop up ads still seemed like a good idea.
Phone: CLICK THE x TO CLOSE IT!
Me: There’s an x on there? Geez it’s small. Okay, annnnd there!
Phone: You clicked the ad! Here’s the ad page you requested!
Me: UGGGGHH!! WHY DID THE AD PAGE LOAD IMMEDIATELY WHEN THE SITE TOOK FOREVER?!
Phone: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Me: You are the worst.
Phone: It’s fine, just close the new tab with the ad page, then you’ll be right back where you were.
Me: Tab closed, ad closed, and now I’d still like to scroll down.
Phone: Sure thing, here you go!
Me: Finally! Let’s see, summary of what the headline said, padding so the blogger could hit his minimum word count, and . . . yes, here’s the point of the post!
Phone: BACK TO THE TOP!
