Restrictions

Sam Cook
Editing Untitled
Published in
2 min readApr 4, 2016
Photo by Les Triconautes on Unsplash

From a self defense perspective, neckties are a pretty bad idea.

If there is any chance that you might be assaulted during the day, one of the last things you’d want to do is wear a strip of sturdy material wrapped around your throat, with a knot that cinches right up on your windpipe. If you did have to wear something like that, you’d really want to keep the ends of the strip short and out of reach. Dangling an especially wide piece right down in front where an attacker can easily see it would be a complete non-starter; you might as well attach a handle and a sign that says “I am clearly not expecting to be attacked.”

But maybe that’s the point? Perhaps wearing a tie is actually way of saying “oh hey, check me out in my developed country, where I can walk around one the street wearing an actual noose and not worry about it.” That would be the sub-sub-text, right below “I can afford to buy a piece of clothing that has zero practical purpose.”

New idea: designer handcuffs. Nothing says both “I assume I’m safe” and “I buy impractical fashion items” like an accessory that actually restricts your arm movement. Available in a variety of styles and materials to match all your shoes you can’t run in and jackets you wear even when it’s hot. Designer handcuffs: the original “cuff link.”

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Sam Cook
Editing Untitled

Former writer for Tested.com and Geek.com, currently a technology professional, teacher, and father. I write about whatever is on my mind.