An Apology Letter to the Person I Just Met

To the person I just met,

It was nice to meet you. Was my handshake firm? I read somewhere that a firm handshake, eye contact, and two pumps is the best kind of handshake. I’ve practiced it enough that it should have been good. I wonder if it was good.

I’m sorry if I was a bit flaily with my arms when we talked; I never know what to do with them. I hope you didn’t notice that in the middle of our conversation, I just put my hands in my pocket. Then I took them out. Then I put them back in. Then I took them out and hung them lifelessly at my side, because I decided that looked most natural.

Honestly, I was really interested in what you were saying about your job. I tried to show it by nodding. Later, my friend told me I looked like a bobblehead. Also, I’ve been working on smiling when I speak. I know that people who smile seem warmer and friendlier. I hope it worked because my cheekbones still hurt from maintaining it.

Was my small talk interesting? I try to keep up with the latest news and current events so I have lots to talk about. Beforehand, I came up with seven or eight light-hearted and interesting topics to jam into the conversation if any dreaded awkward silences popped their heads out. Sorry when I tried to do that when you were in the middle of a sentence. I misjudged your pause.

I’m sorry that when I introduced you to my other friend, I had already forgotten your name. It’s not that our interaction wasn’t meaningful, it’s just that I’ve got so much happening in my head that names go in one ear and out the other. However, I will always remember that you hate your birthdays, wear a friendship bracelet on your left wrist, and you wish you took more risks. Next time, I’ll remember your name.

With love and best intentions,
Jeff