Dear myself 20 years ago
Dear Geir,
This is you. From the future. I just wanted to say you are doing just fine. You have a lovely daughter who loves you higher than anything in the world. When you feel down, she insists on sitting on your lap and just cuddle. At night she prefers sleeping literally on your face to just being near you. When you stutter, she couldn’t care less. Why bother about that when her daddy can play hide N seek with her all around the apartment?
Dear 18-year old Geir. There are a few things you should know.
First of all — being differ is cool. As a matter of fact, it is those who dare to be different that will make a true impact in the world. Everyone else tends to follow what they believe is expected from them. They do their home work because a random 50-year-old dinosaur of a teacher tells them to — not because its good for them. And since most people are insecure, no one dares to break the pattern. The bigger result of this is pretty sad. Lots of people doing what they think they should do not to look stupid in front of others. But as a matter of fact, everyone are so busy with themselves that they don’t really notice what’s happening around them.
It is like a mutually agreed, but never spoken about, agreement to walk in line.
The funny thing is that those who follow their gut and think for themselves, will most of the time have others following them. If you really believe in something, I guarantee you there are others out there thinking the same thing. That’s why, Geir — always, always, always have the courage to be yourself and do what you think is right.
The second learning, dear 18-year old Geir, might sound a bit strange. But the goal is not to compete with others. If you are the best, that doesn’t mean you win. Most socalled winners are lonely people. Competing means someone must loose. That’s not cool. You will feel so much better to help others win. Heck — you will also accomplish more if you collaborate with everyone around you rather than fighting them. You will feel better, more will get done, and your future you will thank you (being the future you, I know)
Okok, I know this might sound vague. I’ll try to explain how it’s done. I’ll even make a short to do list for you to follow:
- Initiate a discussion when you are uncertain about anything.
- Invite peers to join. Please remember to ask wide and especially invite someone you don’t know. The more people you invite in, the more you will learn.
- Help others feel confident enough to contribute by first show them what others have talked about. When they are confident, they will participate. Not before.
- In the discussions, try as much as you can to understand and help others to understand.
- Give positive feedback to everyone participating, not only those you agree with.
- Later, when you are a successful business man (spoiler: you will be), hire people based on how well they do point 1–5. Fuck the grades.
I know what you think (because I am you, remember?) — this sounds weird. It doesn’t feel good to differ. How can stuff like being the only one that stutters or having the second biggest ears in class be any good?
This probably sounds like some hippie shit to you, doesn’t it? Nothing I say can convince you, anyway. All I can ask is to give it a shot. Test stuff out and learn. You must feel the value yourself. Start by something simple, like asking people what they think or fake stuttering a bit more than usual on purpose. Embrace the uncomfortable as a way to show it’s OK to be human and be proud of everything that makes you differ.
Best of luck, Geir. I know you will do fine no matter what happens. Nevermind what everyone says — just enjoy the ride and be nice.
If everything fucks up, you still have a daughter that loves you for being you in a couple of years. That’s worth more than anything else.
Best,
Yourself
