As of late, I have been dealing with headaches more than usual. I knew exactly what was the culprit. I need a new pair of glasses. When I need stronger lenses, the first signs are frequent headaches and walking without my glasses less and less. It’s funny how this is happening now as my perspective continues to change. The more headaches I have, the more frequent the need is. So it’s time to make a trip to the eye doctor.
As I removed the old mindset of Religion, I saw how confused I was. I couldn’t know because I thought everything done was a part of some perfect will. I just agreed to whatever was said. I was a blind follower even though I knew some things that didn’t sit right with me.
I wasn’t changing, but became worse. I battled with depression a lot because I couldn’t find or feel this love that I desperately needed. Why was I still holding on to a distant vision? Why couldn’t I be good? I was battling myself instead of coming to terms with myself and learning how to balance in life.
I am finally learning to understand balance. However, there is a hidden war with balancing life; being that I lived one way for thirteen years, it’s not easy to bring things into a balanced state after living an unbalanced life. So, at times, I feel stuck; however, I have found a few things that help me stay balanced and on the path I am on when I am troubled.
1) Writing
Writing has brought so much peace to my life. I can take out my anger on paper. The paper catches my tears, and it grants me a release. I feel in control when I write.
2) Keep quiet
This is so hard for me, but doing so has been beneficial. Most people won’t understand my path and may try to put me in a hell I don’t believe in. One day, though, the spell will be broken off their minds. Yes, I think religion is twisted, but I digress. Staying silent is helping me stay in control.
If I don’t put these things into practice, I know I will hurt someone’s feelings, and that’s not the kind of person I am. So I wait and write. I’m not sure why I was chosen to come out of religion, but maybe it’s for my benefit. I no longer want to live in fear. I no longer want to live a loveless life because, to be honest, religion teaches the opposite of love, but I digress again.
So, as I get my new glasses, I see this as a time of chaos and war but also a time of peace because now, with my new vision, I will be able to see things more clearly, no longer depending on the old lenses that constantly gave me headaches.
I look forward to my lenses so then my headaches will be gone for good. 🙏🏽😉🤓
