When Students Cry: My Reflections on Empathy and Understanding
I’ll tell you about one case when a student cried in front of me and what I did and thought at the time.
“Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all.” — Aristotle
Hello, my friend! Today is going to be a sad but heartwarming story. In the bustling world of teaching, amidst the regularity of classes and exams, I experienced a moment that demanded my utmost sensitivity and understanding. It was a routine day in my seventh-grade class, with children being children, nothing out of the ordinary. However, one shy girl caught my attention as she sat quietly, seemingly holding back, even though I could see she had something to say. Little did I know that this encounter would become a profound lesson in empathy and self-reflection for me as an English teacher in a Thai school. Let’s fly!
Quiet Girl and Bear
I was teaching seventh grade about a week ago. A routine class that wasn’t difficult. Children are simply children, nothing out of the ordinary. However, because midterms coincide with exam week, I needed to give the kids a chance to improve their grades.
The class began with the usual hello-teacher-hello-student procedure. In reality, the lesson continued as usual. However, I noticed one girl sitting shyly and not approaching me, despite the fact that I could see she had written something. While I was checking on the other students, the quiet schoolgirl kept looking at me. It was visible to me in my peripheral vision. Only that girl remained after all the students had spoken.
I quickly checked my Excel file — hmmm, she was even speaking a little. I decided in a flash that I needed to talk to her face-to-face. “Come on, I’ll assist you in speaking.” As I approached her, I said in Thai, “You just repeat after me.”
I was perplexed by the silence in response. On the one hand, the student had always come to my desk in class before, but something was different this time. I didn’t want to give her a zero because she was trying, but I also didn’t want to give her a painted grade. She only needed to put in a little effort. I then called out to her again, and she sobbed.
This is where I became extremely depressed. I had brought a child to tears for the first time in eight years. Fortunately, the Thai teachers helped me with discipline, and one of my colleagues was nearby. Seeing the situation, my coworker assisted in calming the girl down and explaining to the child that the teacher would not scold her.
When the student and the Thai teacher arrived at the classroom desk, I immediately noticed that she had written exactly as in the example. That’s fine — I grabbed a pen and wrote the correct words for her. There was only a minor error to be made. The child relaxed and began speaking. However, I was not filled with joy at the time. I realized the child was a victim of the situation and blamed myself for failing to recognize it at the moment.
After that class, I went to the canteen and told another teacher that she needed to talk to the kid and calm her down because I was extremely uneasy. I realized that if I ignored the situation, the child might suffer from future psychological trauma. I wanted to do everything I could to prevent the child from believing that the teachers here were evil and that no one cared about her.
The truth is that all of the teachers, including myself, were aware that this happens occasionally, but all of us wanted to diffuse the situation.
What did I think about what was going on at the time?
My thoughts at each stage of the story’s progression.
When this girl was alone, I first checked to see if she had ever talked. I saw that I was giving her four green pluses, which is a sure sign that we had already talked.
Just for the record, I teach about 300 junior high school kids in 9 classes, plus about 350 senior high school kids in 10 classes. As you understand, I can’t remember all of them, so I make notes to help me figure out who is in front of me. Lazy or diligent?
So, based on what I had written down, she was already talking. I could also tell that she was watching me work with other kids. I just thought she was shy and wanted me to go up to her and tell her, “Don’t you worry, I’ll help you!” I thought it was kind of me.
So I began to think that I didn’t want to give her a zero because she tried her best and was usually a hard worker in school. But she should also try to speak English like the rest of her classmates, which she had done before.
I was sure she just needed a little boost like I had done with hundreds of other kids during my life as a teacher. In other words, I did everything logically until the very end. Then I felt like I had made wrong assumptions. Besides, it turned out that this girl was giving my coworker the same kind of issue…
Conclusion
I was surprised to learn that my colleague was experiencing similar difficulties. However, I encouraged my coworker to resolve the situation and suggested that she should treat the girl to cupcakes or something. Fortunately, the situation was resolved even more quickly and easily.
Noi Channoi☘️ Click here if you would like to read about this story from my coworker’s perspective.
Yes, we work at the same school, and there’s always something going on there.
With this story, I want to show how a similar situation looks from different points of view. However, such a case is part of our job as teachers.
As for the girl, I will be her teacher in August, but since she sees me as a “big bear,” I won’t talk to her at first. Maybe she needs time to get used to our school, which is much bigger than her elementary school. I personally believe everything is going to be alright.
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