How I relate to Serena Williams on sexism

Chan Chandrapunth
Sep 9, 2018 · 3 min read

Serena Williams was handed multiple controversial penalties in the match, including one that cost her a game itself.

First of all, I don’t watch Tennis very much, and I am not a fan of any particular player. The only thing I can relate to is Serena Williams’ reaction to the penalties.

I think when Serena got her third violation for “verbal abuse”, she must be evaluating if it was a fair call. The umpire’s judgement could be the result of automatic, emotional, stereotypical reaction, derived from his Thinking Fast system. Alternatively, it could be a result of the logical, calculating, conscious decision, derived on his Thinking Slow system. (Read more about the two thinking systems in the Book Thinking Fast and Slow)

She claimed double standard because “there’s men out here who do a lot worse…” and didn’t receive the same penalty. It must be the bias brain that issued the unfair penalty.

At work, I face some criticisms that made me come close to call a double standard.

One time I received a feedback that I was “aggressive” because I put some pressure on my teammates to deliver by his own deadline. Another time, I was viewed as “interruptive” when I started asking a question before the interview candidate completed his response. I do not believe that I acted or said anything different from my male teammates in the same situation. In fact, I learn from the best male examples who were thought of having “strong ownership” and “great interviewing style”.

When receiving this type of criticism, there are two options. 1) I can refuse to believe them, and call out sexism. 2) I admit the feedback, and change my behavior.

I am telling you, every girl I know takes the second option because we all know this kind of fight will not result in a win. I have never heard any male colleague admits that he treats a woman with double standard or being sexist. The argument always ends before it starts.

This is precisely why I sympathize with Serena William. Not because everything she did was appropriate (abusing racket and letting emotion into the argument are far from ideal behavior). But because she chose the first option, the hard way. She stood up even when there was a tiny chance to win; to voice that unfairness could be real and woman should be viewed as equally capable as men.

While many researches show that cultural norms and expectations about men and women influence how people of different genders are judged, evaluated, and treated at work, it wasn’t enough to convince myself that I was part of the problem. It’s mostly because I struggled to find a true A/B testing experiment to prove that my co-worker will actually treat me differently if I am male.

Yet, that’s not the toughest part.

The most challenging part, in tech, is that most of my role models are men.

They embrace strong opinion (loosely held) and believe that system is fair. But, no one tells me what to do when strong opinion can be sometimes “too strong” for my gender, and that the system could be built on top of the unconscious bias. They don’t have to face the same problems or criticisms.

The point of this article is not to call out any sexism at my workplace, but to emphasize that the tendency of humans to think fast should not be overlooked. Awareness is the start. I strongly believe in tech industry because we value the right logic and we are highly capable of changing the world for the better place.

Thank you, Serena Williams who inspires this blog post. It is always easier to stand on the shoulders of giants.

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Chan Chandrapunth

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Try everything. Optimize for new mistakes. Software engineer @Twitter

Effai.me

Effai.me

Share with the world hard truths about intentional living, wealth and freedom

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