A Message to our Dear Partners

By Effat Alsaraj

From all mothers out there, this is a message to our dear partners.

We understand that you’re busy and you need to work, and we know it is hard when you ask us Are you OK and we say NO.

Sometimes we won’t show it, sometimes you will feel it, and other time we’ll say it but may not be able to explain. Here, we’ll try to tell you why we may not be okay.

Stress gets the best of us. There’s a lot to be done, and no one to do it but us. This stress never stops, and we can’t ever take a break because we’re responsible for our kids.

We understand that life has its tough times; that to get the things we want, we need to work for them, and we need to go through hardships, but we never get peace.

Our kids are our lives. We love them to death, and we appreciate the blessing that is to have them, and the privilege it is to get to do things for them. But it doesn’t mean it can’t take a toll on us.

Every morning starts with them, we have to get them ready for school, prepare their food, Plan their quality time, keep an eye on homework, manage doctor appointments, worry about their health, and maintain our home on top of everything.

It’s a blessing that we have kids, but it’s also a responsibility that we have to take care of.

All this means we’re in constant motion, crying and screaming become our background music, and alone time becomes a thing of the past. This feeling on its own, the feeling of being tired from our responsibility, it makes us feel that we’re bad mothers.

Motherhood shifts our priorities, it puts our focus onto our kids and their needs, and we lose sight of things that were important to us. We’re so anxious to not drop the ball on our kids that we drop the ball on ourselves, and in the process, we lose a lot of who we are.

Exercising; fixing our hair; relaxing; taking some alone time; focusing on what we want to accomplish in our lives; all of this becomes secondary. There’s no time for it.

We love being mothers, it brings us so much joy. But we lost everything else about us to it, and outside of motherhood, we have nothing.

We need something else that brings us joy and purpose, alongside motherhood. Because, to put it in simple terms, we lost who we were before being mothers, and we liked and miss that person.

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