St. Nick’s MySpace (Letter to Santa 2007)

John Halcyon Styn
Dec 23, 2016 · 2 min read

(For the last 15 years, my brother &I have left “adult” letters to Santa every Xmas Eve….and Santa always leaves a sassy response. It is our family’s weird “Holiday Improv.”)

Santa!

We almost forgot you were coming tonight! Thank goodness we didn’t light a fire.
Next time you might consider adding “Xmas Eve Visit” on your Facebook Calendar or list it on Upcoming.org.

And now that I look around online a bit, there are a few more things we need to talk about.

What is the deal with your MySpace page?!

For someone that “knows” all the children of the world, you sure have a weak friends list.
I mean, you still have Tom on your top eight! (That is SO embarrassing.)

In lieu of milk and cookies, here’s a web 2.0 trick to make sure that you don’t get left in the dust by Dane Cook or Tila Tequila.

The key is to stay classy and understated. So we made you this graphic. Simply post it everywhere you can:

We’ll poke you on Facebook later! Comment back!!

Jimmy & Johnny
(and we left him some bonus, “TSA Approved” Eggnog)

**SANTA’S RESPONSE**

Well, Children,
What can I do? I outsource my computer work to India and I don’t know that Mahatma really believes in me. Maybe if he has some of this “drunken elf” eggnog he’d feel better about his work.
Now about that graphic…That really is a pose I did only for the eyes of Mrs. Claus and it was never meant for the internet. I mean, really, I don’t want the children having risque thoughts about me. I want them to think of me more as a grandfather figure.
Now, be good, and if you can, would you fix up that MyFace page?

See you next year.
Love,
Santa

P.S. I had a little trouble with the TSA guys at the airport. The limit of liquid containers is 3 oz. so I had to chug my eggnog. Still mighty good!

Eggnography

John Halcyon Styn

Written by

Life Artist. Pink Evangelist. Love Ambassador.

Eggnography

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