✍️Why I’m In My Hustle Renaissance
a HUGE surprise, oops?
Brace yourselves for my hustle renaissance, but one I find much healthier and goal-oriented.
For the past five years, I’ve written about rejecting hustle culture for a number of reasons, among them really highlighting burnout. Looking back, I’m realizing that I lost my drive for two reasons: (1) I wasn’t enjoying myself or finding meaning in something and (2) I wasn’t being supported either.
Scenario 1: The Dream
Enjoying myself AND being supported. That’s the dream, isn’t it? You enjoy creating something for the majority of the time despite annoying little pieces here and there, but also it’s recognized by other people.
The magic associated with this is unrivalled.
Scenario 2: At Least It Does Something For Me
There are times when I do something that’s not supported at all, but I love doing it. There are topics I write about that draw a lot of anger, but that anger is precisely what I’m highlighting as a barrier for us to move forward. It’s meaningful. I’m doing something.
Scenario 3: At Least It’s Meaningful For Something Else
There are also projects I’ve done in grad school that I’ve genuinely hated. I didn’t have an ounce of interest in the research question, but it creates outcomes for a subgroup of people, or helps the lab move forward. I actually don’t mind contributing my part, if it at least benefits someone.
Scenario 4: No Meaning for Anyone Involved
I found myself in a few of these trying to grit through the process as if doing things with more effort, more time, more clever solutions would solve the issue that it neither benefitted (1) me or (2) anyone else, for that matter. This is where I find myself quitting because there is no longer a purpose for me to actually spend precious lifetime hours on a project like this.
When my life was filled with too many scenario 4s, it was too much to even work 9 to 5. I split my hours to be 9–12 and 1–4, stopping at 4 to do a whole admin hour for miscellaneous stuff. I was drained because doing the same amount of work used up so many more bars of energy because I knew it would come back with rejections, because, as we said, no one involved in the project liked it nor found any purpose in it. It’s an easy situation to fall into learned helplessness, for the reason that persevering for a situation that actually doesn’t benefit anyone nor bring fruitful outcomes is silly.
I still mostly reject the idea that to tackle burnout is to “find passion” in your work. The ability to control that comes with working up the ladder and being able to manage more features without it being mandated. Some are able to find little joy in their job even if it does feel mostly meaningless or gruelling, but not everyone does.
Last year, I was the most burnt out I ever was over working the least I had in my life.
This year, I find myself working 9 to 5, and then still having the energy to move forward projects in the evening for 1–2 hours, because of a newfound passion and newfound support. Being able to shift to a community that is much more supportive made a world of a difference.
And I am so, so grateful.
Hi, I’m Lucy Dan 蛋小姐 (she/her/她) and this piece isn’t to say that everyone must take on this recipe to tackle their own burnout, but to document that the tough choice to move and having had the support to leave a toxic environment made the world of a difference for me. There is hope, and it was made possible not because of gritting through a shitty situation, but of leaving for a better one with the support of allies. Find those allies. Be that ally for someone else. It makes a difference.
Hop down the rabbit hole with me and John Rehg? 👇
