People First
“A leader is like a shepherd. He stays behind the flock, letting the most nimble go out ahead, whereupon the others follow, not realizing that all along they are being directed from behind.” — Nelson Mandela
Excerpt from Chapter 3 of Ego, Authority, Failure: Using Emotional Intelligence Like a Hostage Negotiator to Succeed as a Leader
The Cash Store Pawnshop was located in a strip mall we affectionately dubbed “Hostage Row,” having been the scene of previous hostage-takings. It sat on King Street in Alexandria, Virginia, on the border with Arlington County, Virginia.
The hostage-taker’s name was Mike. Mike enlisted the help of a buddy, Steve, to rob the pawnshop. They drove to the pawnshop and parked a few spots down from the front of the business and donned ski masks. Mike produced a handgun, they entered the business, and announced the robbery to the five customers and three employees inside.
Their day went downhill from there.
When they entered the pawnshop, a 12 year-old boy was riding his bike to the Five Guys hamburger joint located in “Hostage Row” just around the corner from the pawnshop. He reported what he saw to the manager of the Five Guys, who called the police. Two units were parked nearby and responded in less than 90 seconds.
They approached the rear of the business with weapons drawn. Using a trash compactor for cover, one officer, Jeff, pointed his shotgun at the rear of the business. The other, Adrienne, was at a 90 degree angle on Jeff’s left, pointing her service weapon at the door. As Jeff got on the radio to coordinate the response of other officers, the back door of the pawnshop flew open. There stood Mike and Steve. Jeff was surprised to see them. They were surprised to see him. Jeff challenged Mike and Steve, “Police! Don’t Move!” Mike responded by slamming the backdoor shut.
The hostage-taking was on.
Dana, the founder of our HNT, built our team out of nothing and through trial and error, made it into one of the preeminent HNTs in the Washington DC metropolitan area. He had reached the stage in his career where he was teaching more than negotiating, but on this day found himself as the primary negotiator in a very dangerous incident.
It had been almost 10 years since we had a hostage-taking of this scope, and in that one, we lost two officers.
Nerves were on edge.
Dana called the pawnshop’s phone. When Mike eventually picked up, Dana immediately began deferring.
“Hey, my name’s Dana, I…”
“Look, man, don’t come in here. If y’all do anything foolish, these people gonna get hurt, man! Blood’s gonna be on your hands.”
“Nobody’s coming in there. Okay? You have my word on that. We just wanna make sure you’re okay. What happened? How did we get here today?”
Dana subordinated himself to Mike, showing more concern about Mike than anything else. It is counter-intuitive for most people to ignore their objectives during difficult conversations, but Dana knew the power in such subtle overtures. With one question, he was putting Mike first, and that move would pay big dividends before the end of the incident.
Putting your people before yourself will likewise pay big dividends for you in your role as leader.
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Bo Hanson is the Director and Senior Coaching Consultant at Athlete Assessments for the University of Technology, Sydney, Queensland, Australia. In 1992, he became Australia’s youngest rower to compete in the Olympics. He went on to win bronze medals at the 1996, 2000 and 2004 Games.
Utilizing his experiences from four Olympics along with his training and development qualifications, he founded Athlete Assessments and Team8. Both businesses focus on enabling people to achieve their best performances, whatever their field of endeavor.
Hanson regularly speaks about athlete-centered coaching, leadership, teamwork and how to use behavioral profiling and EQ to create greater success.
He says that certain behavioral profiles intuitively know how to create rapport, trust-based influence, and connection. Those who do not have that profile lord over athletes who don’t feel connected, and the chemistry within the team suffers. He has seen time and again coaches and other leaders failing in their mission to improve the lives and experiences of those they lead.
“If I don’t connect with my players [or employees], it’s a reason for them to potentially leave the program or at least completely disengage from the program. They’re seeing now that relationships within the sporting scene are in fact a performance factor. It actually is a competitive advantage…” says Hanson.
And for all intents and purposes, it’s free. Consider the amount of money that sports spend on facilities, equipment, and travel. “To have a better relationship just takes…well it just takes empathy, but that’s not easy for some coaches to do.”
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This post is part of a blog series where I share excerpts and stories from my book, Ego, Authority, Failure: Using Emotional Intelligence Like a Hostage Negotiator to Succeed as a Leader and expand upon some of the themes within the book. If you want to connect, you can reach me here via email or connect with me on social: LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram. Also, you can find my book on Amazon — here is the link: www.amazon.com/dp/B07NF3HQV7
