36.

Relief — easing of a burden or distress such as pain, anxiety or oppression

Sure, they’ll define it, but no one tells you how to find it
Your problem is diagnosed, line by line by line
No hesitation in pointing out everything that’s wrong with you
And how it all works together to trigger a fresh set of cancers
Ask for a solution?
Pin drop silence. Awkward glances
Half a beat, then everyone speaks at once-
False assurances, half hearted promises to see you through
It’s all too rushed and high pitched to be anything but a front
The looks on their faces, pathetic attempts at showing sympathy
When it’s really pity I see

Relief — easing of a burden or distress such as pain, anxiety or oppression

Still searching
Still walking
Still alone
Still bleeding
Still aching

What if I never was?
This torture would have no home
All of it would be no more
I’d be free
My heart, my soul, my entire being would find rest

Relief

A death wish?
My heart skips. My soul fights
It’s cold and dark and endless
Yes, a death wish